The initial diognosis

I am starting my blog today - but doing some catch up on what has happened to this point.  It has been a journey already!

I chose the hydrangea - I love the flower - I can't grow them very well - but I live in hope.  The same way as I live in hope that one day I will be cancer free.   I am willing to share my story with anyone who needs to hear it and to go through the journey with them.

In late May/early June timeframe I had a slight discomfort in my left breast - some pain and the feeling like something had 'burst' - like a cist or something.  Then I noticed a change in my breast - an indentation on the inside and then a change on the underneath area.  I immediately called my breast specialist for an appointment.  I had an issue in 2002 with calcifications and had lumpectomy surgery at that time to remove the affected area.  I was diagnosed with A-typical cells (pre pre-cancer cells were present) which were removed.  I had followed up with regular appointments/mammograms and regular checkups.  My last mammogram was May 2010 with no issues and my last checkup with my breast specialist was October 2010 - no issues mentioned.

July 5th - appointment with breast specialist - discussed my concerns and the changes in my breast - she scheduled mammogram and ultrasound.

July 21st, 2011

Arrived for mammogram at Women's College Hospital.  After the mammogram I was moved to a room to undergo an ultrasound.  Whilst undergoing the ultrasound, the radiologist came into the room - asked me how I was and explained that she had seen something of concern on the mammogram that she didn't like and thought 'it was cancer' and needed to do a biopsy that day.  She said to come back after lunch and they would do it right there and then.  I got dressed - went down to the cafeteria and got a cup of coffee - the coffee cup was almost empty by the time I got to my seat - my hand was shaking so much as the nerves got the better of me.  I was there alone and already had been told I likely had cancer!  After lunch - the radiologist performed the biopsy and took four samples of tissue - I asked 'what do you see there doc" - she told me she saw 'cancer'!

I was there alone - definitely shaken up and a little stunned.  I went up to the 7th floor to the breast centre and asked for an appointment with my breast specialist, Dr. Lickley for later that week to get the results of the pathology tests.  Dr. Lickley agreed to see me on the Thursday of that week as her last appointment - she was going on vacation for 3 weeks after that.  She spoke to me and said 'not to worry' about the biopsy - they were routine and it could mean nothing.  I told her that the radiologist had already told me it was 'cancer'!  She was stunned.

In the meantime I had a call from the mri department that they had scheduled an mri.

August 3rd

Breast MRI was quite the experience - I had to lay on the equipment on my tummy, with my boobs hanging down into the cavity of the machine and my head resting on the headrest!  Not so easy when you are a large person.  It was extremely uncomfortable and I knew I would be there for at least 20 minutes.   (That was the time the previous patient had been on the machine).  I was concerned about being able to fit into the machine (when you are a large person all these things worry you).  The nurse was very kind, although she did weigh me to make sure I did not exceed the limits.  She helped me get as comfortable as possible and then you are 'stuck' there for the duration of the test.  They gave me headphones but the noise level is unbelieveable - it does sound like a contruction zone. Banging and clanging in different sequences.  Just when you think it is over - another sequence  of banging starts.  It turns out I was in that machine for approx. 40 minutes.  You have no concept of time - you either think you are in for 2 minutes or 20 minutes - you have no ldea.  40 minutes - aren't I lucky!


August 8th, 2011

Today I met with the surgeon, Dr. Cil, a young woman, with great credentials and a lovely calm personality. I liked her right away.  I had no doubt that she would be my surgeon.  She read the pathology report of the previous biopsy and MRI report - explained that the cancer was a 'tricky' type - not easy to detect and could show up in different places.  The biopsy had been done at 4 o-clock and the cancer had been diagnosed/confirmed.  The cancer was confirmed as  'lobular carcinoma'.  This cancer is one of  the least common breast cancers, being at 10'% of breast cancer cases, as opposed to 'ductal' cancer which is 90% of the cases.

Dr. Cil, after reading the reports, determined there was another area of concern at the 8 - 10 o-clock position and she did a fine needle biopsy there and then.

We discussed the type of surgery options that were available to me, ie lumpectomy or mastectomy and at first I was excited to think that it might not be as bad as I initially thought and when asked what I thought, I explained that it would be great if I didnt have to lose my whole breast, if I could retain some of my upper breast/cleavage area.

It turned out that the fine needle biopsy what 'undiagnosable' and that she wanted me to have another biopsy under mammogram of that 8-10 oclock area.


August 16, 2011

Another day of testing at Women's College Hospital.  Turned out to be a day of trauma - stress and frustration for me.

My first test was an ultrasound - the radiologist kept me waiting 45 mins or so laying on the bed alone in the room - he finally came in and started talking to me about a mammogram I had in February (which I hadn`t had) and said "for someone of such a young age" .... I am wondering at that point if he is looking at me - obviously I was not the patient he was talking about - at that point the technologist corrected him and said he was looking at the wrong file!  OK he is now back on track and conducting the ultrasound.  Showed me on the mammogram the areas of concern and how they had changed since the previous mammogram.  He now explained that he was going to do a biopsy under mammogram.  (Which is what I went in for in the first place)  They get me set up in the room - had to lay on a table on my right side, with my left breast placed in the machine and my arm above my head.  They tightened me in and told me to remain still.  As you can imagine, it is most uncomfortable and one has to almost go somewhere else in your head to get yourself through it.  They froze the breast and started taking samples of tissue.  They had explained they were going to place a marker in the breast for identifying area of concern for future mammograms or for the surgeon.  So the probe was inserted - painful - they had to give me more freezing - and I could hear the Dr and Technologist discussing that how it should be done - matching the red and yellow bars etc.   They were  now checking the images and couldn`t find the marker - said there was lots of blood around and perhaps it was hiding - she had mentioned earlier that it could move around.  They finished taking the samples of tissue and then I was done.  The technologist moved me away from the machine and the Dr showed me the bloody probe and there was the marker - it had failed to deploy from the probe.  Dr Au proceeded to berate the technologist for doing it wrong.  (Not the best thing to do in front of the patient).

I was then being moved away from the machine, still lying flat on my back, when the technologist pressed a lever and the head end of the table collapsed and I slid off the table hitting my head on the ground and banging my leg on the mammogram machine or something.  There I was - on the floor - stunned - rubbing my head and my leg - not knowing what the heck happened.

All panic broke loose in the room - the dr asked for help and he was asking the technologist `what have you done`!!  She was also stunned.  Others came into the room - one nice lady, very concerned.  They got me sitting up in the chair - asked if I wanted an x-ray - Dr. took my pulse.  My head seemed to be fine but my leg was painful and had already started to bruise.  The lead floor nurse came into the room and explained to the technologist that when dealing with someone ``with weight`` - when trying to get them to sit up - one must hold on to the head end of the bed to avoid tipping.  Of course I corrected her that no-one was attempting to sit up, that I was still flat on my back and was not moving.  The Dr. also commented that a `smaller`person such as himself could sit on the end and it wouldn`t tip - and proceeded to demonstrate.  Of course it did not tip when the lever(brake) was on, but when released, it did tip just the same.  So, not only am I dropped off the table, they are insinuating that it was because of my weight that it happened.  I was livid.   I just wanted to get out of their but had yet to undergo another mammogram standing up.  They told me an incident report would be written up.  Good thing!

George had been waiting the lobby all this time - they wanted to get him - but of course I didn`t want him anywhere near them.  I had been at the hospital from 9:20 am and it is not 1:45  !  They were concerned letting me go - wanted me to hang around for a while.  I promised them I would have a cup of coffee and hang around for half an hour or so before leaving to go home.

My confidence is waning as you can imagine at this point.  And I am p.....ed off!!
Nicole after a couple days of thinking about what had happened to me and also got a little angry, so much so she decided to call patient services at WCH and voiced her concerns.  An investigation was made into why the table had collapsed and she did confirm that the incident report had been made.  Apparently a sticky note used to be on the table giving instructions on operating the table - the sticky kept falling off and eventually was taken off altogether - there was no sticky on at the time of my fall.  They have replaced the 'sticky' with a permanent sign!

August 29th, 2011

Today is my meeting with Dr. Cil to get test results and schedule surgery.  Dr. Cil's first day back from her 2 week vacation.  We were last patients of the day and were a little 'cookie' by the time we got in to see her.  The Middleton's as usual handle things with humour and this day was no exception.  Maureen and Nicole were with me and Mary Mandel came in to see us - we had a little love fest and shared a few jokes.  Mary has been wonderful and wanted to wait around until after my appointment, but unfortunately it was so late she couldn't hang around any longer

We were greeted initially my 'Mark' - the tall young irishman assisting Dr. Cil - he went over the paperwork and tried to tell me the results of the recent biopsies - he was very brave putting up with the three giddy women he was confronted with - Nicole offered to show him her breasts if he was interested and I had to put my hand up and confirm I was the patient!!!  It was funny.  Dr. Cil then came in and explained things to me - turns out the biopsy Dr. Au did (falling off the table day) was  not what she requested - he had not biopsied the area she had wanted, however did biopsy behind an existing scar and discovered the cancer was there also.  So basically the cancer was in two places in my breast at this point and the doctor felt that it was very likely in the third. She offered to do another quick biopsy if I needed to be sure - but  I said no - let's get the show on the road and bet it gone!!  So surgery was scheduled for Friday, September 9th at 10:00 at Mount Sinai.