Well - today I had some good news, finally. No cancer in the lymphnodes they removed in the 2nd surgery. They removed 16 nodes from under my arm and they were clear!! I am so relieved. So 16 nodes last surgery - 3 centinal nodes and 3 other nodes in tissue they took when removing the breast. So 22 nodes removed altogether. (Looks like I am short a few nodes!!)
The bone scan was clear and the chest CT scan was clear. I am thankful for that. No results yet from the stomach CT scan - they have a different doctor review that. However the bone scan showed lots of arthritis, toes, feet, ankles, knees, hips, neck, shoulders, elbows, and hands.... my future looks painful!!! Bring on the pain pills!! :)
It was such a good feeling getting that news - even the doctor was grinning from ear to ear. I hugged her and thanked her. As I was leaving I ran into my breast specialist (Dr. Lickley) and gave her the news and she told me she already knew - Dr. Cil was keeping her updated and "it's about time you got some good news" she said!! So we left the hospital with smiles on our faces. Maureen went with me and Nicole met us there. By the way - Nicole was dressed in her Halloween costume (a baby, in her pink pajamas, with her bunny and pacifier!!). It was funny - some people thought she had escaped the hospital bed and was flitting around the hospital.
So a good day.
Backtracking a bit - the day started with a massage at Hearth Place - Maureen and I showed up at 10:00 am - Maureen was allowed to sit in the Library area and do her knitting or read, while she waited for me. The ladies brought her a cup of tea (Earl Gray of course) - it is all very comfortable. I met with Phyliss and we hit it off. It was a very gentle massage - I was very comfortable and enjoyed it sooooo much - I can't wait for the next one. (AND IT'S FREE!!) We talked about gently massaging the arm and redirecting the flow of the lymphatic system to other nodes that can kick in and do the work of the ones that were removed.
It is all a whole new world for me - it seems like a new experience every day now and I am learning and meeting new people and looking at the positive.
Happy Halloween everyone. Trying to write this in between kids coming to the door.
J
Monday, 31 October 2011
Friday, 28 October 2011
Appointments Appointments
Well - I have had a busy week - appointments appointments and it has been difficult to keep up - in fact I missed one appointment on Tuesday - the eye doctor - who is thinking about eyes these days!!! Not me obviously.
Met up with friends on Tuesday for a lovely lunch and get-together - it is great to have something to look forward to when I get up in the morning. Good chat - tears and laughter and lots of love.
Wednesday - the drain came out - yippee!! It is nice not to have to carry that around with me and be concerned about how much fluid is coming out of my body. Did you know those darn things are sewn in - so the stiches had to be cut first and then it is pulled out - a little blip initially as it comes out of the hole, but then nothing. Of course I was a chicken and complained - it is that anticipation - but really it isn't a big deal.
Thursday was an appointment at Womens College Hospital for a CT scan. I hate the drive down there these days - but this is a standard test after breast cancer surgery apparently - it is to check that the cancer has not spread to other organs, and to provide a marker or baseline to measure any changes in the future. For those of you that have not had this type of test before, it is nothing to be concerned about. I arrived about 9:40 and was given a cup of liquid to drink - mainly water, but something added that would work with the machine (probably radioactive stuff). It was a large soft drink cup filled and I was to drink 1/4 of it every 15 minutes over 1 hour. It wasn't bad. (Luckily I was able to use the bathroom). Once the liquid was finished I was asked to change into the hospital gowns and go to the room with the machine. I was asked to lay on the bed - they make you as comfortable as possible. I was injected a couple of times with who knows what and then you just lay still and the machine moves up and down your body - it is quite close to you, but not claustrophobic because your head is not covered. It is very quick and then you are done. One lady I met in the waiting room had an allergic reaction to whatever it was they injected - she broke out in a hive on her face - she just waited it out for a 15 minutes or so and no other welts showed up and then was allowed to leave. But they explain this to you - I had no adverse reaction to the test.
On the way home stopped by the office for a chat with HR and visited my colleagues in the department. Seems they miss me!! It was good to see everyone and I certainly miss them. The girls are planning on visiting in November and so I look forward to seeing them all then.
Today, I had a busy day. First was an appointment for a Muga Scan at Oshawa General Hospital. This is a test of the heart to measure how my heart is working before the chemo etc. It is very similar to the bone scan I had the other day. I was again injected with the radioactive stuff - it is really tricky these days to find a vein - my right arm is not coming up to the mark in this regard!! The technicians usually have to go find someone with more experience to find a vein that will do the trick. You should see the bruising on my arm today! This is a very similar test to the bone scan - they make you comfortable on the bed - cushion under the knees and an extra pillow (at my request). I figured I could have 1/2 hour extra nap. So first pictures lasted about 15 minutes or so whereby the machine goes around the body - not touching. For the second set of pictures, the machine is stationery. I just relaxed and closed my eyes. And that was it!
I decided on the way home to drop by the cancer support centre - Hearth Place in Oshawa. This is a centre that addresses the social, practical, emotional, educational and spiritual needs of people dealing with all types of cancer. I had heard about it from breast cancer survivors and from the hospital. So I stopped by and introduced myself - I was given a tour by a volunteer and spent some time with one of the managers there. It was very enlightening - they have so much going on - lots of support groups for cancer patients and their families - wellness programs - fitness programs - I was very impressed. So I came out of there having signed up for Reiki treatment, Massage and Therapeutic Touch sessions. I think I will join one of the support groups and take a yoga class. I also want to get involved with the 'look good feel better' program - this discusses how looking good can make you feel better about yourself - teaches you to use makeup, wear wigs and turbans etc. Sounds like my cup of tea. They also have wigs and prosthetics. All of this is free to the patient. It is an amazing place - very comfortable - rooms for group discussions and one on one discussions. I felt very comfortable there. So I will let you know how I make out.
I got home just in time for the nurse coming today - and another friend dropped by bringing food and other goodies. I can't believe the generosity of everyone. George is enjoying all this company as well.
At least he is getting well fed.
So I have all these appointments made - hard for me to keep up with. I have made myself an Excel spreadsheet and hopefully I can keep track now - everything is not written on bits of paper all over the place etc. (You have heard about the cobbler whose children have holes in their shoes - well it is like the executive assistant who is organized at work and not so much at home!!! lol)
Next week it another busy week - will be in touch.
J
Monday, 24 October 2011
Taking care of business
Hello - it has been a couple of days since I did some writing - so thought I had better let you all know I am still around - not too much to write about at the moment.
Healing very well from the surgery. Very pleased about that. Still some pain in my arm and the drain IS STILL IN!!! Got me all excited on Friday cos is was down to 30 cc of fluid - well the nurse would not remove it because it has to be Below 30 cc. Then on Saturday it went up to 47 - so probably just as well it didn't come out - still not down to where it should be, so hoping Wednesday now. It would be nice to have a week or so of freedom without something sticking out of my body. On November 14 I have to have a PICC line put in for the chemo treatment - just no escape.
We had a good weekend - friends came over on Saturday and brought fish and chips - they were delicious - a "no work" supper and good company - nothing better.
Today I decided to take care of business. I took a look at all the pamphlets and booklets and questionnaires and documents that I was given at the hospital the other day - one has to be in the mood to read that stuff. I registered on line at the hospital, so now I can check the computer for my appointments etc. - good thing - 'cos I keep loosing stuff. Called about reimbursement of some of the cost of the immune booster drug and then Read about all the side affects that can occur with those chemo drugs. Is was scaring me, so decided to stop. I may get all of the side affects - or none!! Hopefully the latter. However, they give you drugs to counteract everything these days, so we will take it one day at a time.
This week I have a CT scan and then see my surgeon on the 31st. I will get the pathology results from the second surgery and hopefully the CT scan results as well. The bone scan tests came back clear - so that was great.
I learned how to Skype last week - and so was able to speak to and see both of my sisters individually and then we all spoke together. With 3 people, the video technology isn't there yet, but coming I believe. But it was great for the three of us to chat together - so I felt I had accomplished something - imagine, being able to speak to both of your sisters at the same time, 3000 miles away and FREE!! I remember when it used to cost 3 british pounds per minute - we used to have to talk fast and just about the important stuff!! Now we can show off anything new that we have bought - or see a new hairdo etc. Amazing. I am delighted.
Well, I am off to bed. Hopefully the baseball is finished - George is already in bed watching the playoffs.
Have a good week everyone.
Jeaninne
Thursday, 20 October 2011
Oncologist visit
Well - today it was all real. Walking into the Cancer Centre at Oshawa hospital and seeing cancer patients coming out of the facility - some with head turbans, some with balding heads and eyebrows and lashes missing, and some with hair starting to grow back in made me want to run back to the car. I do not want to be one of those people!!!
But, I took a deep breath and walked through the doors with my girlfriend Maureen - ready to face whatever is to come my way.
I checked into the Reception and was given a card - this will allow me to check in automatically whenever I am at the hospital for an appointment and anyone who needs to see me will know where I am in the hospital. It is a great system.
Next getting some bloodwork done - yeah a lady called Pat who knew what she was doing. I had had some struggles with finding a vein over the last few weeks since the surgery but she found a vein right away and it was done in a flash. She gave me a good tip for getting the the sticky marks off your skin from the tape - 'extra virgin olive oil' !! Who knew!!
Met a lovely lady named Diana, who is the coordinator, and she took my history etc. and we bonded I think. She will be a lifeline for me I am sure.
There was no waiting to see the doctor - I knew it was going to be a woman and we guessed with the name, (Katherine Shim) she would be Korean. Well we were right and she confirmed that once we spoke. She is fairly young and omg so bright. I felt comfortable right away and she spent a lot of time explaining everything. She had most of the information from Dr. Cil, the surgeon, except for the pathology report from the most recent surgery. She had the bone scan info from Monday and there were no surprises with that, thank goodness. So I guess from looking at all the information she had determined what kind of treatment I would be given. So I have all of that information, along with booklets and pages of information on side affects of the drugs, and other drug information to counteract the side affects etc. It was all a bit overwhelming and scary - but bottom line - this is what is required to kill the cancer cells that might still remain in my body. The cancer is graded as Stage 3 - which is quite advanced, given the size of the tumour - so we have to be aggressive.
She examined me and it looks like I am relatively healthy and ready to take this stuff on.
I liked her and that is important for me to have a good feeling about the doctor. I believe she is very approachable and that could mean a lot.
So we scheduled the first chemo treatment for November 15th. It will be one treatment every three weeks for 6 treatments. Then a month or so rest before starting radiation. I will have to see the Radiation Oncologist and that meeting has not been set up yet. I was given prescriptions for drugs that I will need - one the day after each chemo treatment, and others to combat some of the side affects. The drug that I will need after the treatment is an immune booster and apparently it is very expensive. I saw the pharmacist and she checked to see if my insurance covered it, which they do, 80% at least, and introduced me to a program called the Victory Patient Support program that will cover the additional 20%. Something I am grateful for because Maureen asked the cost of 1 shot of this drug and the price is $2,600.00 per shot!!! Do you believe that!! Oh and I was also given a prescription for a wig! So looks like I will be loosing my hair after all.
The Cancer Centre in Oshawa is quite new and everyone I met today were great. The chemo waiting room is small and more intimate than the general waiting room. It felt small and intimate and not like a hug inner city hospital. So I think I made the right choice by suggesting I go to Oshawa for my treatment.
So - I have lots of reading to catch up with - not sure I want to read it all though. We will see.
That is as much as I can say today. Hope I haven't bored you all - telling it like it is.
Good night
Jeaninne
But, I took a deep breath and walked through the doors with my girlfriend Maureen - ready to face whatever is to come my way.
I checked into the Reception and was given a card - this will allow me to check in automatically whenever I am at the hospital for an appointment and anyone who needs to see me will know where I am in the hospital. It is a great system.
Next getting some bloodwork done - yeah a lady called Pat who knew what she was doing. I had had some struggles with finding a vein over the last few weeks since the surgery but she found a vein right away and it was done in a flash. She gave me a good tip for getting the the sticky marks off your skin from the tape - 'extra virgin olive oil' !! Who knew!!
Met a lovely lady named Diana, who is the coordinator, and she took my history etc. and we bonded I think. She will be a lifeline for me I am sure.
There was no waiting to see the doctor - I knew it was going to be a woman and we guessed with the name, (Katherine Shim) she would be Korean. Well we were right and she confirmed that once we spoke. She is fairly young and omg so bright. I felt comfortable right away and she spent a lot of time explaining everything. She had most of the information from Dr. Cil, the surgeon, except for the pathology report from the most recent surgery. She had the bone scan info from Monday and there were no surprises with that, thank goodness. So I guess from looking at all the information she had determined what kind of treatment I would be given. So I have all of that information, along with booklets and pages of information on side affects of the drugs, and other drug information to counteract the side affects etc. It was all a bit overwhelming and scary - but bottom line - this is what is required to kill the cancer cells that might still remain in my body. The cancer is graded as Stage 3 - which is quite advanced, given the size of the tumour - so we have to be aggressive.
She examined me and it looks like I am relatively healthy and ready to take this stuff on.
I liked her and that is important for me to have a good feeling about the doctor. I believe she is very approachable and that could mean a lot.
So we scheduled the first chemo treatment for November 15th. It will be one treatment every three weeks for 6 treatments. Then a month or so rest before starting radiation. I will have to see the Radiation Oncologist and that meeting has not been set up yet. I was given prescriptions for drugs that I will need - one the day after each chemo treatment, and others to combat some of the side affects. The drug that I will need after the treatment is an immune booster and apparently it is very expensive. I saw the pharmacist and she checked to see if my insurance covered it, which they do, 80% at least, and introduced me to a program called the Victory Patient Support program that will cover the additional 20%. Something I am grateful for because Maureen asked the cost of 1 shot of this drug and the price is $2,600.00 per shot!!! Do you believe that!! Oh and I was also given a prescription for a wig! So looks like I will be loosing my hair after all.
The Cancer Centre in Oshawa is quite new and everyone I met today were great. The chemo waiting room is small and more intimate than the general waiting room. It felt small and intimate and not like a hug inner city hospital. So I think I made the right choice by suggesting I go to Oshawa for my treatment.
So - I have lots of reading to catch up with - not sure I want to read it all though. We will see.
That is as much as I can say today. Hope I haven't bored you all - telling it like it is.
Good night
Jeaninne
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
Feeling good
Thought the sun was going to be out all day today, but not to be.
I hate the thought of pulling all the plants out of the pots when they are still blooming - but we all know that white stuff will be with us before we know it.
I don't have much to write about today, except to say I am feeling pretty good and energetic - so doing some work around the house - light housework!! Keeping up with the laundry and not re-washing my clothes like I did last week.
A friend sent me this today and I thought it was too beautiful not to share.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXDMoiEkyuQ&feature=share
I found this video also today - it made me smile all the way through - it gave me goodbumps really just to see the happiness of everyone - and it reminded me that everyone is the same - no matter where they live - we all love to dance....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri9PpFVyVhE&feature=related
Hope you can access - and enjoy!!
J
I hate the thought of pulling all the plants out of the pots when they are still blooming - but we all know that white stuff will be with us before we know it.
I don't have much to write about today, except to say I am feeling pretty good and energetic - so doing some work around the house - light housework!! Keeping up with the laundry and not re-washing my clothes like I did last week.
A friend sent me this today and I thought it was too beautiful not to share.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXDMoiEkyuQ&feature=share
I found this video also today - it made me smile all the way through - it gave me goodbumps really just to see the happiness of everyone - and it reminded me that everyone is the same - no matter where they live - we all love to dance....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri9PpFVyVhE&feature=related
Hope you can access - and enjoy!!
J
Monday, 17 October 2011
Body Scan today
Appointment day at Women's College Hospital.
Body Scan today. I had to be there for 9:00. Met with the technologist (who was very nice by the way) and he got me comfortable on the bed (less of the dirty minds!!)..... I lay on the machine while he found a vein in which to insert the 'die' they use prior to doing the test. My veins are tricky in my right arm - always used my left hand in the past and am not allowed to use that arm anymore. He managed to find a vein in my wrist and so all went as planned. He watched a screen while the die was running through my body - weird! It was cold from being in the fridge and I could feel it a bit.
I was told to come back at 11:15 to do the actual test. He told me to drink lots of fluids (about 1 litre if I could) - 1 large coffee and three cups of water were all I could manage. So back I went at 11:15 and they were ready for me. Lay again on the bed - this time he put a pillow under my knees to make me more comfortable - tied my feet together loosely with a sheet and I was quite comfortable. The one test took about 20 minutes with the machine/camera moving down my body very slowly. Then I had to put my hands above my head while the machine took pictures of my chest area - first the right and then the left. About 5 minutes each side. For the next one I lay on my right side while the camera took pictures of my knees - ankles etc. So literally it is a full body scan. Pictures of the arms and shoulders where done standing up - took about 5 minutes each. That was it - I was asked to wait outside while the radiologist checked the pictures - unfortunately I was asked to come back so that they could do more pictures of the pelvic area (without my pants!!) I was wearing jeans and they wanted to make sure - so that concerned me a bit - who knows what they saw. I have to wait until October 31st when I see the surgeon for the results. Oh well - whatever it is, bring it on. I am on this journey now - may as well get everything over with at once. So keep your fingers crossed.
It is a busy life having an illness with all this appointments etc.
By the time I got home I was quite tired - didn't sleep that well last night worrying about getting up in time etc. It took me 1.1/2 hours to get there this morning. How do those people commute every day downtown - I couldn't do it.
I just want to say how wonderful my neighbours have been - today, the doorbell rang - another one of my neighbours who has just found out about my diagnosis delivered some beautiful red roses - I am so lucky - my neighbours are great and I know I can count on them if there is anything I need.
Well folks that's it for today - hope you all had a great day.
Love Jeaninne
Body Scan today. I had to be there for 9:00. Met with the technologist (who was very nice by the way) and he got me comfortable on the bed (less of the dirty minds!!)..... I lay on the machine while he found a vein in which to insert the 'die' they use prior to doing the test. My veins are tricky in my right arm - always used my left hand in the past and am not allowed to use that arm anymore. He managed to find a vein in my wrist and so all went as planned. He watched a screen while the die was running through my body - weird! It was cold from being in the fridge and I could feel it a bit.
I was told to come back at 11:15 to do the actual test. He told me to drink lots of fluids (about 1 litre if I could) - 1 large coffee and three cups of water were all I could manage. So back I went at 11:15 and they were ready for me. Lay again on the bed - this time he put a pillow under my knees to make me more comfortable - tied my feet together loosely with a sheet and I was quite comfortable. The one test took about 20 minutes with the machine/camera moving down my body very slowly. Then I had to put my hands above my head while the machine took pictures of my chest area - first the right and then the left. About 5 minutes each side. For the next one I lay on my right side while the camera took pictures of my knees - ankles etc. So literally it is a full body scan. Pictures of the arms and shoulders where done standing up - took about 5 minutes each. That was it - I was asked to wait outside while the radiologist checked the pictures - unfortunately I was asked to come back so that they could do more pictures of the pelvic area (without my pants!!) I was wearing jeans and they wanted to make sure - so that concerned me a bit - who knows what they saw. I have to wait until October 31st when I see the surgeon for the results. Oh well - whatever it is, bring it on. I am on this journey now - may as well get everything over with at once. So keep your fingers crossed.
It is a busy life having an illness with all this appointments etc.
By the time I got home I was quite tired - didn't sleep that well last night worrying about getting up in time etc. It took me 1.1/2 hours to get there this morning. How do those people commute every day downtown - I couldn't do it.
I just want to say how wonderful my neighbours have been - today, the doorbell rang - another one of my neighbours who has just found out about my diagnosis delivered some beautiful red roses - I am so lucky - my neighbours are great and I know I can count on them if there is anything I need.
Well folks that's it for today - hope you all had a great day.
Love Jeaninne
Sunday, 16 October 2011
Sunday the day of rest and surprises
Yes - Sunday was definitely the day of rest for me. I got up late and have washed the same load of laundry 3 times - I started it on Friday and it never got it into the drier - I am doing that next!! But that is about all I have done today.
I have had some visitors - the nurse earlier today and my next door neighbour. The house always looks at its worst when someone drops by - oh well - they should know me by now and I have learned that having a tidy house is not a defining factor of who you are!! :)
It was a very nice visit with my neighbour Barb - got caught up to date with all of her grandchildren and she also brought me a gift from her sister, it is a quilt, made by volunteers, for people with cancer. I am thrilled to have it, but it brings home the message that I am one of those people with cancer!!
I wanted to give you a bit more information about the organization that makes these quilts.
"Victoria's Quilts was established in memory of Victoria Ann Morrison who was a cancer patient and a quilt lover. She made over 100 "Love Quilts" in her short lifetime. She spoke of being cold during her chemotherapy treatments. With her in mind and after much thought and prayer Victoria's Quilts Canada was founded in 1998 with Gods love. This ministry from the Lord is accepted with a humble heart."
Along with the quilt came a card signed by all the makers and instructions for washing etc. Quite the thing don't you think?
So I am passing along the information to those of you who might be interested in some way .....
My Quilt came from the ladies at the Lindsay Branch
Victoria's Quilts Canada - Lindsay
24 Dormer Road
Lindsay, ON K9V 6H8
Phone: 705 328 2084
Email: yqclindsay@hotmail.com
The ladies volunteer to make the quilts and they buy the fabric/supplies etc. from donations
- Canadian Charitable Registration No. 88036 4815 RR0001
When I get the hang of pictures - I will show you my beautiful quilt.
J
I have had some visitors - the nurse earlier today and my next door neighbour. The house always looks at its worst when someone drops by - oh well - they should know me by now and I have learned that having a tidy house is not a defining factor of who you are!! :)
It was a very nice visit with my neighbour Barb - got caught up to date with all of her grandchildren and she also brought me a gift from her sister, it is a quilt, made by volunteers, for people with cancer. I am thrilled to have it, but it brings home the message that I am one of those people with cancer!!
I wanted to give you a bit more information about the organization that makes these quilts.
"Victoria's Quilts was established in memory of Victoria Ann Morrison who was a cancer patient and a quilt lover. She made over 100 "Love Quilts" in her short lifetime. She spoke of being cold during her chemotherapy treatments. With her in mind and after much thought and prayer Victoria's Quilts Canada was founded in 1998 with Gods love. This ministry from the Lord is accepted with a humble heart."
Along with the quilt came a card signed by all the makers and instructions for washing etc. Quite the thing don't you think?
So I am passing along the information to those of you who might be interested in some way .....
My Quilt came from the ladies at the Lindsay Branch
Victoria's Quilts Canada - Lindsay
24 Dormer Road
Lindsay, ON K9V 6H8
Phone: 705 328 2084
Email: yqclindsay@hotmail.com
The ladies volunteer to make the quilts and they buy the fabric/supplies etc. from donations
- Canadian Charitable Registration No. 88036 4815 RR0001
When I get the hang of pictures - I will show you my beautiful quilt.
J
Saturday, 15 October 2011
Saturday
It's been a good day today. Spent the day with a friend and did a bit of shopping. I actually bought two Christmas presents (it's October folks)!!! So - I have started. I figured time is not going to wait for me so better pick things up when I can. So at the moment, if I do nothing more, my family will have 1 gift to open on Christmas Day..... perhaps that is all they will get!! :)
Wasn`t it a miserable day - definitely Fall - rainy and windy and leaves blowing all over the place. We enjoyed our shopping trip and, you know, I didn`t think about cancer all day. Other than keep putting my left boob back in its place, it was a lovely normal day.
Think George missed me - he is used to having me around the house these days - even though we might not talk for the most part - he knows where I am and can see how I am doing.
Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend - today, I am enjoying the weekend!
J
Wasn`t it a miserable day - definitely Fall - rainy and windy and leaves blowing all over the place. We enjoyed our shopping trip and, you know, I didn`t think about cancer all day. Other than keep putting my left boob back in its place, it was a lovely normal day.
Think George missed me - he is used to having me around the house these days - even though we might not talk for the most part - he knows where I am and can see how I am doing.
Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend - today, I am enjoying the weekend!
J
Rainy day Friday
It's Friday. It's a gloomy day - but thinking about work and hoping all goes well with the barbeque and that the rain keeps away.
Nurse just been - someone different today - they are always surprised when there are the two of us having a 'visit'. Although this time it was just for me. George has to have the wound nurse come today for him because he has another area of concern. I am not going there 'cos it upsets me.
I think I did too much yesterday when I went out shopping - I am feeling a little swollen - the swelling is not in the right place though!! lol But things are healing well apparently.
Yesterday I ended up at Winners as I expected I would - the car just seems to gravitate there. I bought three tops - this time I will be keeping them I think. Just nice comfortable youthful looking stuff - one for work and the other two a little more casual. Need to get some bottoms to match now! If I was a bit more high tech I could post pictures etc. - oh well - perhaps down the road.
Got thinking about my situation yesterday and got really scared - a lot of 'what ifs' and the mind can take you places you don't want to go. I remain positive, but the scary bits do slip in. I sometimes feel it is all happening to someone else - like this is not really me - and the real me will show up sometime. It is life changing and there are a couple of routes to take - you can either climb the mountain and struggle to the top - or slide down to the bottom and wait there for whatever to happen. It is a fine line between both routes.
Wow - way too philosophical!!
Anyway - my blog - all about me - so I guess you know my mind is all over the place. You have to take the good with the bad with me.
Update Friday
Drove to the office - Enjoyed the barbecue - unfortunately the rain did not keep away - but a big tent and lots of super people didn't put a damper on the occasion.
I felt proud to be part of a company that celebrates it successes and acknowledges the work done by everyone. Food wasn't bad either!!
It was good to see everyone and be back 'in the land of the living' - I appreciate so much everyone's good wishes. Thanks all of you.
Nurse just been - someone different today - they are always surprised when there are the two of us having a 'visit'. Although this time it was just for me. George has to have the wound nurse come today for him because he has another area of concern. I am not going there 'cos it upsets me.
I think I did too much yesterday when I went out shopping - I am feeling a little swollen - the swelling is not in the right place though!! lol But things are healing well apparently.
Yesterday I ended up at Winners as I expected I would - the car just seems to gravitate there. I bought three tops - this time I will be keeping them I think. Just nice comfortable youthful looking stuff - one for work and the other two a little more casual. Need to get some bottoms to match now! If I was a bit more high tech I could post pictures etc. - oh well - perhaps down the road.
Got thinking about my situation yesterday and got really scared - a lot of 'what ifs' and the mind can take you places you don't want to go. I remain positive, but the scary bits do slip in. I sometimes feel it is all happening to someone else - like this is not really me - and the real me will show up sometime. It is life changing and there are a couple of routes to take - you can either climb the mountain and struggle to the top - or slide down to the bottom and wait there for whatever to happen. It is a fine line between both routes.
Wow - way too philosophical!!
Anyway - my blog - all about me - so I guess you know my mind is all over the place. You have to take the good with the bad with me.
Update Friday
Drove to the office - Enjoyed the barbecue - unfortunately the rain did not keep away - but a big tent and lots of super people didn't put a damper on the occasion.
I felt proud to be part of a company that celebrates it successes and acknowledges the work done by everyone. Food wasn't bad either!!
It was good to see everyone and be back 'in the land of the living' - I appreciate so much everyone's good wishes. Thanks all of you.
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
Day after the day after thanksgiving
A bit deflated today. I guess I am going to have my off days.
I feel the need to get out and about a bit and so I am debating on whether or not I should drive. My arm has some numbness/tingling on the underside - I had been told that might happen - so I am not concerned about it - but it is a reminder. The soreness is less - so I seem to be healing well.
It is hitting me that this is a long process - and I need to remind myself of that and be patient. Easier said than done sometimes though.
Enough of the 'woe is me' - giving myelf a kick in the butt!
It has started to rain and so perhaps I will rethink my trip out in the car - I should get some knitting done. My friend has commissioned an Aran Knitted coat for her dog - it is a dachshound - so I will have to fashion a pattern and add some length to it - those little dogs are lllooooonnnnnggg!! So I have lots to do - baby blanket to finish, hats to do and now a doggy coat - so - just need the motivation now!!
So folks - not much to tell you today so I will sign off now. I will only write when I feel like I have something to share.
Thanks for listening.
J
I feel the need to get out and about a bit and so I am debating on whether or not I should drive. My arm has some numbness/tingling on the underside - I had been told that might happen - so I am not concerned about it - but it is a reminder. The soreness is less - so I seem to be healing well.
It is hitting me that this is a long process - and I need to remind myself of that and be patient. Easier said than done sometimes though.
Enough of the 'woe is me' - giving myelf a kick in the butt!
It has started to rain and so perhaps I will rethink my trip out in the car - I should get some knitting done. My friend has commissioned an Aran Knitted coat for her dog - it is a dachshound - so I will have to fashion a pattern and add some length to it - those little dogs are lllooooonnnnnggg!! So I have lots to do - baby blanket to finish, hats to do and now a doggy coat - so - just need the motivation now!!
So folks - not much to tell you today so I will sign off now. I will only write when I feel like I have something to share.
Thanks for listening.
J
Monday, 10 October 2011
Happy Thanksgiving
Well hello everyone. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I have been away from the computer for a couple of days - it has been busy at the house and therefore not the right environment to sit quietly and write.
I have been counting my blessings for all my wonderful friends and family at this special time of year - I have so much to be thankful for. And even the weather cooperated this weekend - it was beautiful - I was able to sit outside this morning with my coffee and contemplate my good fortune while listening to the birds chirp and soaking in the sunshine (and before my neighbour decided to close the pool (lol)).
We had our thanksgiving dinner yesterday - Nicole was determined to have a turkey dinner and she 'produced'!! Turkey with all the trimmings and the best pumpkin pie in the world made from scratch - even the pastry!! Thank you Nicole. We had a lovely family dinner - sat around the dining table, eating in candlelight (the power went out just as we sat down!!). So it was special having my family around me. The odd thought comes to mind when enjoying those special moments .... will this be the last Thanksgiving!! It comes and it can't be helped - I have breast cancer and it is lurking there all the time. Then in the next moment it is gone and I tell myself I am being silly and that everything is going to be fine.
I am recovering from the 2nd surgery as expected - a little tender under the arm and of course the drainage tube is back - it is a pain in the pip. I can't lift my arm to do my hair properly and I am tending to 'favour' my arm close to my body - so I have to remind myself to be more flexible and move it a little more. I have some swelling under the arm, but that is to be expected. No abnormal swelling of the arm and fingers at this point.
Dr. Cil advised me before they started that the pathology report had come through on some tissue that contained some lymphnodes she had removed during the first surgery, that had not been tested initially, saying they were clear of cancer cells. I was pleased to hear that news before going under the knife and am just now hoping and praying that the ones she removed on Friday are also clear.
Well - need to go to bed now. I will say goodnight and will talk to you tomorrow.
J
Friday, 7 October 2011
It's over
I'm home - all went as planned. Surgery longer than we were told - but 2hours 15 minutes were scheduled, we had been misinformed by the nurse when she told me it was 1 hour- so felt bad for Maureen waiting.
Tired and sore - arm achy but to be expected.
You may not hear from me for a couple of days - but then again - you might!
J
Tired and sore - arm achy but to be expected.
You may not hear from me for a couple of days - but then again - you might!
J
Wednesday, 5 October 2011
Lots to be thankful for
Had lunch with friends today - enjoyed it so much.
We laughed, cried, held hands and laughed some more. The food wasn't bad either.
Thanks girls - it was sooooo good to see you. It was great to catch up and talk about what is happening - one of my friends is going through a similar thing, and my heart aches for her. But talking and sharing sometimes helps - I hope so. Love you both. Thanks.
It was a beautiful day - sun shining and temperature perfect - still wearing my sandals - yeah!
Bought Halloween candy today - I hate halloween - but thought I should get some in the house and be ready for the kids coming. We don't get as many kids as we used to. I can feign not feeling good and George will have to answer the door when the kids come!!! lol
Picked up a couple of things for Christmas also - need to do it while feeling good.
Haven't given much thought to Thanksgiving - the turkey has not flown into the fridge yet - not sure I will let it in if it tries!! I have no intention of cooking!!
J
Well - forgot to post yesterday's blog - so you get two for the price of one today.
Doctors appointments today - we are like a couple of senior citizens without the walkers - going to the docs in the middle of the day. Crashed into one old dear with her walker - George almost knocked the hand sanitizer off the wall - she took him out!!! These days I seem to see the funny side in everything.
Nurse visit also today - I am down to a bandaid on my drainage wound - it has healed very well - no infection in fact the whole incision has not been a problem - no staples, no outside stitches etc. So I have been very lucky that way.
Back to the drawing board on Friday though - Taking out the remaining lympthnodes from my left arm and I get the drainage tube back - how lucky am I??- Seriously though - it is scary and I know I make light of things, but it is how I handle things for the most part - I just want it over and to get my life back to normal.
We laughed, cried, held hands and laughed some more. The food wasn't bad either.
Thanks girls - it was sooooo good to see you. It was great to catch up and talk about what is happening - one of my friends is going through a similar thing, and my heart aches for her. But talking and sharing sometimes helps - I hope so. Love you both. Thanks.
It was a beautiful day - sun shining and temperature perfect - still wearing my sandals - yeah!
Bought Halloween candy today - I hate halloween - but thought I should get some in the house and be ready for the kids coming. We don't get as many kids as we used to. I can feign not feeling good and George will have to answer the door when the kids come!!! lol
Picked up a couple of things for Christmas also - need to do it while feeling good.
Haven't given much thought to Thanksgiving - the turkey has not flown into the fridge yet - not sure I will let it in if it tries!! I have no intention of cooking!!
J
Well - forgot to post yesterday's blog - so you get two for the price of one today.
Doctors appointments today - we are like a couple of senior citizens without the walkers - going to the docs in the middle of the day. Crashed into one old dear with her walker - George almost knocked the hand sanitizer off the wall - she took him out!!! These days I seem to see the funny side in everything.
Nurse visit also today - I am down to a bandaid on my drainage wound - it has healed very well - no infection in fact the whole incision has not been a problem - no staples, no outside stitches etc. So I have been very lucky that way.
Back to the drawing board on Friday though - Taking out the remaining lympthnodes from my left arm and I get the drainage tube back - how lucky am I??- Seriously though - it is scary and I know I make light of things, but it is how I handle things for the most part - I just want it over and to get my life back to normal.
Surgery on Friday It`s not for fun
Four week ago I thought I was done
My Thanksgiving is ruined `cos I`ll likely be sleeping
So no turkey for us and the family is weeping
Oh well - perhaps next week we can do our own thing
With turkey and squash and the salad of Spring
With pumpkin and apple the best pies in town
(Only if Maureen bakes them and she`s coming down)!!
To Whitby from Peterborough - we`re making a date
Or perhaps we`ll go there - we`ll have to see and wait
I have lots to be thankful for - people I can`t thank enough
I can`t continue now, because I am getting weepy and stuff!!
Love J
Monday, 3 October 2011
Roses are dark pink
Had some lovely emails from friends and colleagues today - they always lift my spirits, so keep them coming.
My calendar for the week is filling up - it is great - doesn't allow me much time to wallow in self pity!
I have been pottering around the house - put the laundry away and cleaned out a couple of shelves in my closet - got some stuff to go to Goodwill. I am not as decisive as I should be when parting with things - I should be more ruthless - but every little bit helps. So I have decided if I can do a little bit each day, then I will not feel that my time is being wasted at home and eventually all those little jobs I have been wanting to do might get done.
I want to start on my bedroom/bathroom next - pulling off the wallpaper - my husband will kill me - but I could do a little bit at a time with one hand - couldn't I? We shall see.
I am sitting looking at the roses that are in 2nd bloom in the back garden - beautiful dark pink colour - I am enjoyingS the simple things. The odd rabbit hops across the lawn and the birds are enjoying the feeder. The squirrels are going "nuts" - scampering here and there - putting pine cones in every pot - hiding the saltine crackers that my neighbour puts out for them. They are very busy. So life in the backyard is just a hive of
activity.
Well - I think that's it for today - unless something worth writing about happens this afternoon, I will chat with you tomorrow.
J
Roses are Pink, at least some of them are
The ones in my garden are doing well so far
Not like the Hydrangea that I planted with care
One single bloom is all that is there
There's always another season as I live in hope
I'll weed out plants around it and give it some scope
So that sunlight can reach it and I'll nurture with care
And you never know - it could be 2 blooms next year
Hydrangeas are beautiful as you all know
Although Madonna doesnt think so
She prefers roses as she stated on TV
Why can't she like both - just like me!
Sunday, 2 October 2011
Sunday - day of rest
On a different topic, you will be pleased to know that I now have a new toilet seat - installed it myself much to my surprise - I didn't know I could do that stuff!! I took the white one back to the store and managed to buy the bone colour to match the toilet - I guess my head was turned on today and I actually thought about what I was doing. I got to christen it as well - just in case you were wondering! lol.
Quiet day for me - one of those rainy days to potter about the house and settle down to read or in my case to get on with my knitting. I have neglected it the last few weeks and, since it is a baby blanket, the baby's arrival date is coming up fast I thought I had better get on with it.
Start of a new week tomorrow - well and truly into Fall with Thanksgiving coming up next weekend.
Well - that's it for tonight - Think Pink
love J
Saturday, 1 October 2011
October in like a lion - brrrrr
Geez it was cold today. I dragged my butt out of bed at 6:45 this morning to go to to meet with Maureen and her daughter in law, Jamie, for an auction - house contents from a lovely home on Youngs Point Road on the water. Some beautiful pieces of pine furniture and of course all the other stuff - china - trinkets - pictures etc. It was interesting to see what people buy and really that is the reason I went - I enjoy the 'feel' of the auction and checking out the stuff etc. There were a couple of things I liked - a single chair and a stool. But I figured it would go for more than the $25 I had allocated.
It was cold though - we watched for a while, but decided to leave around lunch time because they hadn't got to the 'good stuff' yet. We had lunch at a cute place - Uncle George's in Woodview - great home-cooked food. Once the sun came out it was a beautiful day and it was enjoyable being out in the country and just being 'out and about'.
So feeling like the cobwebs have been brushed out of my head and getting some good fresh air felt really good. Came home around 5:00. And that was the day pretty much.
Tomorrow will be a relaxing day and then next week will be a slew of appointments and preparation for another surgery and being out of commission for a few days.
The situation never leaves me completely - I was saying to George today I wish I could just leave my body and sit myself down on the couch next to me and then toss aside the existing body! Science hasn't come that far yet though, has it?? Funny what thoughts come to mind.
Well - run for the cure tomorrow - it is going to be chilly - so wrap up. Good luck everyone - pace yourselves - sing songs - whatever it takes.
J
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