Slept the day away - I want my life back. No inclination to do anything - living in limbo - hate this thing.
Food has no taste - can't drink wine - what else is there????
Looked at myself in the mirror just after getting out of bed and scared myself - some days the bald isn't so bad - today I wasn't rockin it!!
Well you all don't want to hear how much I am feeling sorry for myself, so I won't prolong the agony.
It will be a new year very soon - I will try and perk up to go into 2012 with a stronger spirit and sense of hope. Just having a bad few days, my 10 days of chemo hell.
Here's to a healthy and happy new year for all.
Thanks for your support during 2011 and I want you to know your encouragement and support has meant more than you will know.
J
Friday, 30 December 2011
Tuesday, 27 December 2011
A Lost Day
Well today I thought I had a day to spend with the family and to tidy the house up a bit after the aftermath of Christmas, but I was wrong.
I had my pre chemo appointment at the hospital and of course I had to talk to the doctor about the problem I am having with the allergic reaction on my arm. So she sent me to the chemo area to have it looked at by one of the nurses. I guess they have dealt with this sort of thing before and she cleaned off the area and sprayed it with Flovent - an asthma puffer medication (steroid). A bit weird I thought, but they don't have spray type steroid and this is what they use - it dries quickly and they can put the dressing on the top. So she fixed me up, but was concerned that the line may have come out too much and that it might have to be re-done!! So lucky me - was then sent for a chest x-ray - they back to the chemo area and waited for the doc to tell me 'yes' it had come out too much and needed to be replaced. Back to the x-ray area, waited another hour and then had the original line removed and then a new line threaded in. They dressed it with a different type of dressing again and I hope this type works - she sent me home with some of the dressings for the home care nurses. I left the house at 9:00 am and didn't get home until 4:00 pm!! So much for my day with the family!
So - this arm thing has turned out to be a pain in the pip. The doc wants it dressed every day now, so the home care nurse will be here every day to see me - another pain because you get tied to the house waiting for them to come. I am on antibiotics which I have to take 4 times a day (and keep forgetting), plus tomorrow I will be taking the steroids for a couple of days, plus my regular meds - I will start to rattle soon I think!!
Enjoyed very much our visit with Maureen and Bruce yesterday - their grandchildren are great and they were really excited. Of course Aiden didn't appreciate the clothes I bought him, but then I expected that. I know Jamie will appreciate them. I always put a toy in with the clothes though, so it is not all bad. Tamara always goes dressed like an Elf and Aiden still hasn't quite figured out if she is a real Elf - he thinks if she is magic then she can just make a toy right there and then. She told him it was her day off. lol We get a big kick out of him. Morgan is getting very grown up and is beautiful - she looked like a Princess and since Nicole bought her her own make-up case - well you can imagine the Glee!! (Daddy wasn't so pleased though)!!
Had an enjoyable evening visiting friends this evening - it was beautiful being out in the falling snow with all the Christmas lights twinkling - but short lived - it was all slushy when we left and will likely be gone tomorrow.
Well, I am off to bed - Chemo at 10:15 am - dreading it. I get a bit anxious. As I walk into that chemo room, it takes everything in me not to run - it is very difficult to rationalize putting that stuff into your body.
I should feel ok for a couple of days, so I will check in tomorrow and let you know the scoop!!
J
I had my pre chemo appointment at the hospital and of course I had to talk to the doctor about the problem I am having with the allergic reaction on my arm. So she sent me to the chemo area to have it looked at by one of the nurses. I guess they have dealt with this sort of thing before and she cleaned off the area and sprayed it with Flovent - an asthma puffer medication (steroid). A bit weird I thought, but they don't have spray type steroid and this is what they use - it dries quickly and they can put the dressing on the top. So she fixed me up, but was concerned that the line may have come out too much and that it might have to be re-done!! So lucky me - was then sent for a chest x-ray - they back to the chemo area and waited for the doc to tell me 'yes' it had come out too much and needed to be replaced. Back to the x-ray area, waited another hour and then had the original line removed and then a new line threaded in. They dressed it with a different type of dressing again and I hope this type works - she sent me home with some of the dressings for the home care nurses. I left the house at 9:00 am and didn't get home until 4:00 pm!! So much for my day with the family!
So - this arm thing has turned out to be a pain in the pip. The doc wants it dressed every day now, so the home care nurse will be here every day to see me - another pain because you get tied to the house waiting for them to come. I am on antibiotics which I have to take 4 times a day (and keep forgetting), plus tomorrow I will be taking the steroids for a couple of days, plus my regular meds - I will start to rattle soon I think!!
Enjoyed very much our visit with Maureen and Bruce yesterday - their grandchildren are great and they were really excited. Of course Aiden didn't appreciate the clothes I bought him, but then I expected that. I know Jamie will appreciate them. I always put a toy in with the clothes though, so it is not all bad. Tamara always goes dressed like an Elf and Aiden still hasn't quite figured out if she is a real Elf - he thinks if she is magic then she can just make a toy right there and then. She told him it was her day off. lol We get a big kick out of him. Morgan is getting very grown up and is beautiful - she looked like a Princess and since Nicole bought her her own make-up case - well you can imagine the Glee!! (Daddy wasn't so pleased though)!!
Had an enjoyable evening visiting friends this evening - it was beautiful being out in the falling snow with all the Christmas lights twinkling - but short lived - it was all slushy when we left and will likely be gone tomorrow.
Well, I am off to bed - Chemo at 10:15 am - dreading it. I get a bit anxious. As I walk into that chemo room, it takes everything in me not to run - it is very difficult to rationalize putting that stuff into your body.
I should feel ok for a couple of days, so I will check in tomorrow and let you know the scoop!!
J
Monday, 26 December 2011
Boxing Day
Wishing each and every one of you all the best for Christmas and good health for 2012.
Love J
Still enjoying the aftermath of Christmas day - just reliving Christmas morning and savouring all the laughter and good energy. We had a wonderful day with Nicole and Brandon and Tamara - Santa was very good to us all and even the dogs were well behaved and enjoyed themselves. It was such a pretty picture seeing the family all around the tree and the two dogs (Steve and Zoe (the new puppy)) right in the middle of things.
I felt good this last week and so was able to enjoy myself. Energy level is still not what it should be - but I was able to rest when I needed to.
Brandon has already been out to the 'boxing day sales'. He got up at 5:30 and went to Walmart for their 6 am opening and their big sale. He said there were people lined up and he wasn't about to stand in line in the cold - so he napped in the car until they opened their doors and just walked in. He was there to purchase a Blackberry Playbook - on sale from $600 to $248 for 32 gb - walked in to the electronic section and stood in line with everyone else - then a staff member asked if anyone was there to buy a Blackberry Playbook and Brandon put his hand up - he went straight to the counter and made his purchase - he says the rest of the line-up were not happy that he didn't have to stand in line with the rest of them. He is so lucky that way.
My children are ganging up upon me at the moment - because I am adjusting my arm bandage and they think I am 'scratching'!! Which I am not and never would!!!! Yes - I have an allergic reaction to the PICC line site from the tape they use to stick it down - it has been fine for several weeks but suddenly started to blister up and is painfully itchy. So the nurse came out on Thursday and re-dressed it best she could - but by Christmas Eve it was worse and so when I called the nurse again, they thought I should go to emerg. because it looked like it was infected - so that was Christmas Eve - not what I planned to do - sit in emergency at Oshawa General Hospital. We were lucky though - they saw us pretty quickly and we got a great nurse - stumped her mind you - they didn't quite know how to dress it. The doctor didn't know what to do - he gave me a prescription for an antibiotic (which is what they do) and said the nurse would dress it. Well the nurse was great - but it was her first day back on the job after doing an office job for a while - plus it was her birthday and she said 'and this is what you give me'!! It was funny really - she did a good job and I felt comfortable afterwards. But it is still bothering me - not sure what they will do when I go tomorrow for my pre-chemo checkup.
Yes - back at the hospital tomorrow to see the doctor and then 3rd Chemo session on Wednesday - glad that I was able to have Christmas feeling good - and now I will likely hibernate for New Years. I got a new 32" TV for Christmas for the bedroom from George and the kids and so I can hibernate with my favourite tv shows!
Visiting with Maureen and Bruce and family today and so looking forward to that.
Brandon and Tamara gave me a selection of Christmas portraits they had done - we laughed so much - here is a sample!! (Please know they don't normally look like this)!!
Brandon and Tamara gave me a selection of Christmas portraits they had done - we laughed so much - here is a sample!! (Please know they don't normally look like this)!!
Wishing you all a very Happy New Year.
Love J
Sunday, 18 December 2011
Getting ino the Christmas Spirit
Sunday Dec 18
Well I am back from the chemo vacation from life - feeling much better the last couple of days and so finally feel like writing and chatting with you all.
Lazy day today though - didn't even get dressed. Recovering from the Company Christmas party - a good time was had by all. It was wonderful to see everyone having a good time. It was lovely to chat to everyone and just felt good to be out and about being my normal self. It was a good party - the food was good and the company was good and just a lovely feel all around. Got home just after midnight and Cinderella, after the ball, was able to change back into Cancer Vixen when she put her wig and sparkly clothing away for the night!!! Thanks Messier-Dowty for bringing the Christmas spirit back!
Maureen stayed over and we enjoyed the morning just chatting about the party and finishing off our knitting projects - just girls chillin' out. Lunch with friends tomorrow so looking forward to that.
2nd chemo went very much like the first - mouth sores - fuzzy head - extremely tired. Didn't feel like talking or eating or anything, didn't want to see anyone - it feels like one regresses into oneself - something you don't want to do, but have to go there somehow. So basically the schedule is 10 days following Chemo is not great and then 10 days of feeling better. Still low on energy, but the coping skills are there.
I know you are all waiting to see what my Sunshine Gifts have been the last few days - well to be honest, what with Christmas preparation and just not feeling well, I haven't opened anything in a while. I just enjoy it so much more when I am feeling good.
Monday afternoon
Well folks - enjoyed my visitors for lunch - caught up with my old boss and his wife from a previous company. We have known each other for approx 30 years and haven't seen each other for a while - so it was great to get all the news. A very nice visit.
Well ..... I opened a gift today - a basket filled with delicious goodies - English chocolates/cookies etc. etc. (I am already into the wine gums - love wine gums). There were enough gifts in this basket to last me a couple of days - thank you gift giver - I appreciate it so much and the basket will come in handy. I was telling my friends all about the Sunshine Basket thing and they were amazed. I am still amazed.
I cant tell you how good it is to feel good and be myself. So I intend to enjoy the next few days leading up to Christmas - the Christmas spirit is upon me (not literally)!!
Talk to you soon.
Love J.
Well I am back from the chemo vacation from life - feeling much better the last couple of days and so finally feel like writing and chatting with you all.
Lazy day today though - didn't even get dressed. Recovering from the Company Christmas party - a good time was had by all. It was wonderful to see everyone having a good time. It was lovely to chat to everyone and just felt good to be out and about being my normal self. It was a good party - the food was good and the company was good and just a lovely feel all around. Got home just after midnight and Cinderella, after the ball, was able to change back into Cancer Vixen when she put her wig and sparkly clothing away for the night!!! Thanks Messier-Dowty for bringing the Christmas spirit back!
Maureen stayed over and we enjoyed the morning just chatting about the party and finishing off our knitting projects - just girls chillin' out. Lunch with friends tomorrow so looking forward to that.
2nd chemo went very much like the first - mouth sores - fuzzy head - extremely tired. Didn't feel like talking or eating or anything, didn't want to see anyone - it feels like one regresses into oneself - something you don't want to do, but have to go there somehow. So basically the schedule is 10 days following Chemo is not great and then 10 days of feeling better. Still low on energy, but the coping skills are there.
I know you are all waiting to see what my Sunshine Gifts have been the last few days - well to be honest, what with Christmas preparation and just not feeling well, I haven't opened anything in a while. I just enjoy it so much more when I am feeling good.
Monday afternoon
Well folks - enjoyed my visitors for lunch - caught up with my old boss and his wife from a previous company. We have known each other for approx 30 years and haven't seen each other for a while - so it was great to get all the news. A very nice visit.
Well ..... I opened a gift today - a basket filled with delicious goodies - English chocolates/cookies etc. etc. (I am already into the wine gums - love wine gums). There were enough gifts in this basket to last me a couple of days - thank you gift giver - I appreciate it so much and the basket will come in handy. I was telling my friends all about the Sunshine Basket thing and they were amazed. I am still amazed.
I cant tell you how good it is to feel good and be myself. So I intend to enjoy the next few days leading up to Christmas - the Christmas spirit is upon me (not literally)!!
Talk to you soon.
Love J.
Sunday, 11 December 2011
Sunday - more of the same - fatigue - no taste buds - stomach off, but no vomiting. Aches and pains and best just to sleep. So that is what I did today - went back to bed around 2 pm and slept until 6:30. Certain smells are bothering me - wine of all things!! No fair!!
I will probably hibernate for a couple of days or so and come back when I am feeling better.
Not feeling much of a VIXEN today!! :)
J
I will probably hibernate for a couple of days or so and come back when I am feeling better.
Not feeling much of a VIXEN today!! :)
J
Saturday, 10 December 2011
A down day
Saturday - well - feeling not so hot today - slept the day away basically and got up around 5 pm. My head aches - body doesn't feel right - I basically don't know what to do with myself. My head is fuzzy and I just want to rest. It's ok though - it is to be expected and so I don't fight it. I do have lots to do obviously, but I am not going to worry about it. I will take the few days and then hopefully by next weekend I will be feeling better.
Getting used to the bald head - it get's a bit chilly sometimes, but not bad.
I am not feeling very wordy today - just wanted to check in and let everyone know I am ok.
I haven't opened a gift in a couple of days - will do so when I feel more myself.
J
Getting used to the bald head - it get's a bit chilly sometimes, but not bad.
I am not feeling very wordy today - just wanted to check in and let everyone know I am ok.
I haven't opened a gift in a couple of days - will do so when I feel more myself.
J
Monday, 5 December 2011
CANCER VIXEN 2 down
Monday
Just back from my checkup at the hospital. Donated a couple of vials of blood and then sat with the doctor for all of 3 minutes. The blood work is fine to administer the chemo tomorrow - yippee!! And I guess I didn't have too many problems with the first dose. She gave me a prescription for a mouthwash for the mouth sores and so I am set - ready to face whatever comes along this time.
I wore my wig for the first time today and it is going to take some time to get used to it. It does feel like wearing a hat - but the longer I had it on, the less it bothered me. I got compliments from the chemo nurses - they can spot the wigs now - I guess they are pretty much experts now on spotting them! However, people in the waiting room thought it was fantastic once they found out it was a wig and said they couldn't tell. But you know me, fess up to everyone. It is interesting talking to people and finding out their stories. One lady today - well I thought it was a man - wore a beige knitted hat over her bald head and dark green shirt - it wasn't until the volunteer lady came by with some knitted hats and scarfs that I realized it was a women - so of course I had to get involved in helping her choose something more feminine - she picked out 3 in nice colours - so we became friends and she will be there tomorrow as well having her chemo - so I hope to see her. Another lady I spoke to today has had 18 chemo sessions - 18!!! I guess she is on her second or third round of treatments - cancer in more than one place - so there is always someone worse off than you. All those people with their own stories of surviving and fighting. All those brave souls doing what they need to do. But you know, I always hear laughter when I am in there - laughter is a good thing.
_______________________________________________________________________
Wednesday morning.
I decided to wear a turban to the chemo session - so wore a little blue hat with the beautiful scarf I received as one of my Sunshine basket gifts - so it looked nice and the first time going out of the house with the 'cancer' target on me. At the hospital it is no big deal, but walking around the grocery store afterwards one does catch the odd glimpse of people looking and you know what they are thinking - but I had my lippy on and rocked it and was my usual self.
My favourite nurse took my in yesterday and got me set up quite quickly - her name is Tracy - she took my blood on Monday and we had chatted for a while and then when she saw me sitting there yesterday she called me right in. We always share a few laughs and it helps pass the time. I get two types of drugs that she inserts manually through the PCC and I had been drinking my water hoping to flush that stuff out of my system as quickly as possible. I get the ice chips just before for the 2nd type in an effort to curtail the mouth sores - apparently if the area is cold the drug does not have such a strong effect - but it didn't work too well last time because I did get the sores and I have a feeling they are coming back again this time - although it might have been worse otherwise. The doctor gave me a mouth rinse - so hoping that will help. All in all it took about 2 hours. Maureen came with me and so we took our knitting and had a conversation about knitting with several of the nurses - they are a chatty bunch in there - helps them pass the time I suppose. They work quite hard - on their feet most of the time and running backwards and forwards from patient to patient. All very nice and caring though.
One lady sitting close by yesterday was finished her chemo and left, but then came back, she was experiencing numbness in her mouth - so the nurses weren't sure what to do about that. They wanted her to hang around for a bit while they contacted the doctor - you never know what these drugs are going to do. She did eventually leave, but I didn't find out what the outcome was.
I did see the lady I told you about yesterday, but she was leaving and didn't see me, so we didn't have a chance to chat - but I was happy to see she was wearing the colourful headscarf that I had helped her pick out!!
I am prescribed . steroids to take day of chemo and for two days afterward - they are obviously working because I am feeling pretty normal right now - probably by Friday is when the fatigue kicks up a few notches. But the tree is up and the living room is decorated and so Christmas can happen. I will probably do a bit of wrapping each day and since I usually do it in the bedroom the bed will be handy just to fall in when the need arises!!
Just waiting for the nurse to come and give me the immune system booster injection. So then I can relax for the day.
Maureen and Bruce were here overnight - they have left for doctor's appointments in the city and we are babysitting their dog Maddie - have to watch she doesn't get under George's feet and trip him up - that would be all I needed!! They are staying tonight as well, because she has another appointment in the city tomorrow. So since I can't go with her I am glad Bruce is able to. They are very good with bringing food and so we make it as easy as possible where meals are concerned. We have been friends for many years and they are like family. Bruce did a couple of jobs yesterday for us - changed some light bulbs and fixed a water leak in the garage - so that was great.
Didn't sleep well last night - I think I try to put out of my mind the thoughts of that 'stuff' going into me, but once in bed it all hits me and so the mind just runs riot. I think it must have been about
Sunshine basket gifts for Monday and Tuesday:
1. A book - "Before I go to Sleep" - think I need to read that during one of my good weeks!! Thank you gift giver - no card and I checked the inside and no name - so I do appreciate the gift and the thoughts behind it.
2. A bottle of white wine and a lovely card - thank you gift giver - I will gladly share that with my friend Maureen and I appreciate so much your thoughtfulness.
So - that is it for today - have a good one.
CANCER VIXEN signing off!!
Do you believe this weather!!! Mild - sunny and NO SNOW!!
Just back from my checkup at the hospital. Donated a couple of vials of blood and then sat with the doctor for all of 3 minutes. The blood work is fine to administer the chemo tomorrow - yippee!! And I guess I didn't have too many problems with the first dose. She gave me a prescription for a mouthwash for the mouth sores and so I am set - ready to face whatever comes along this time.
I wore my wig for the first time today and it is going to take some time to get used to it. It does feel like wearing a hat - but the longer I had it on, the less it bothered me. I got compliments from the chemo nurses - they can spot the wigs now - I guess they are pretty much experts now on spotting them! However, people in the waiting room thought it was fantastic once they found out it was a wig and said they couldn't tell. But you know me, fess up to everyone. It is interesting talking to people and finding out their stories. One lady today - well I thought it was a man - wore a beige knitted hat over her bald head and dark green shirt - it wasn't until the volunteer lady came by with some knitted hats and scarfs that I realized it was a women - so of course I had to get involved in helping her choose something more feminine - she picked out 3 in nice colours - so we became friends and she will be there tomorrow as well having her chemo - so I hope to see her. Another lady I spoke to today has had 18 chemo sessions - 18!!! I guess she is on her second or third round of treatments - cancer in more than one place - so there is always someone worse off than you. All those people with their own stories of surviving and fighting. All those brave souls doing what they need to do. But you know, I always hear laughter when I am in there - laughter is a good thing.
_______________________________________________________________________
Wednesday morning.
I decided to wear a turban to the chemo session - so wore a little blue hat with the beautiful scarf I received as one of my Sunshine basket gifts - so it looked nice and the first time going out of the house with the 'cancer' target on me. At the hospital it is no big deal, but walking around the grocery store afterwards one does catch the odd glimpse of people looking and you know what they are thinking - but I had my lippy on and rocked it and was my usual self.
My favourite nurse took my in yesterday and got me set up quite quickly - her name is Tracy - she took my blood on Monday and we had chatted for a while and then when she saw me sitting there yesterday she called me right in. We always share a few laughs and it helps pass the time. I get two types of drugs that she inserts manually through the PCC and I had been drinking my water hoping to flush that stuff out of my system as quickly as possible. I get the ice chips just before for the 2nd type in an effort to curtail the mouth sores - apparently if the area is cold the drug does not have such a strong effect - but it didn't work too well last time because I did get the sores and I have a feeling they are coming back again this time - although it might have been worse otherwise. The doctor gave me a mouth rinse - so hoping that will help. All in all it took about 2 hours. Maureen came with me and so we took our knitting and had a conversation about knitting with several of the nurses - they are a chatty bunch in there - helps them pass the time I suppose. They work quite hard - on their feet most of the time and running backwards and forwards from patient to patient. All very nice and caring though.
One lady sitting close by yesterday was finished her chemo and left, but then came back, she was experiencing numbness in her mouth - so the nurses weren't sure what to do about that. They wanted her to hang around for a bit while they contacted the doctor - you never know what these drugs are going to do. She did eventually leave, but I didn't find out what the outcome was.
I did see the lady I told you about yesterday, but she was leaving and didn't see me, so we didn't have a chance to chat - but I was happy to see she was wearing the colourful headscarf that I had helped her pick out!!
I am prescribed . steroids to take day of chemo and for two days afterward - they are obviously working because I am feeling pretty normal right now - probably by Friday is when the fatigue kicks up a few notches. But the tree is up and the living room is decorated and so Christmas can happen. I will probably do a bit of wrapping each day and since I usually do it in the bedroom the bed will be handy just to fall in when the need arises!!
Just waiting for the nurse to come and give me the immune system booster injection. So then I can relax for the day.
Maureen and Bruce were here overnight - they have left for doctor's appointments in the city and we are babysitting their dog Maddie - have to watch she doesn't get under George's feet and trip him up - that would be all I needed!! They are staying tonight as well, because she has another appointment in the city tomorrow. So since I can't go with her I am glad Bruce is able to. They are very good with bringing food and so we make it as easy as possible where meals are concerned. We have been friends for many years and they are like family. Bruce did a couple of jobs yesterday for us - changed some light bulbs and fixed a water leak in the garage - so that was great.
Didn't sleep well last night - I think I try to put out of my mind the thoughts of that 'stuff' going into me, but once in bed it all hits me and so the mind just runs riot. I think it must have been about
Sunshine basket gifts for Monday and Tuesday:
1. A book - "Before I go to Sleep" - think I need to read that during one of my good weeks!! Thank you gift giver - no card and I checked the inside and no name - so I do appreciate the gift and the thoughts behind it.
2. A bottle of white wine and a lovely card - thank you gift giver - I will gladly share that with my friend Maureen and I appreciate so much your thoughtfulness.
So - that is it for today - have a good one.
CANCER VIXEN signing off!!
Do you believe this weather!!! Mild - sunny and NO SNOW!!
Friday, 2 December 2011
Bald is Beautiful (not)!!
Friday - it is the day of reckoning - to give up the hair or not to give up the hair? I can try and hang on to it for a few more days since I am finding it hard to let go, but I don't think it will last very much longer. It was my plan to go and have it all cut off today, but somehow I can't bring myself to make the call. This is the time when I have to face the fact that I do have cancer and will now start to look like other cancer patients that are going through chemotherapy treatments. Up to now, I have been able to kid myself, on the surface at least, that all is well!! I even sometimes forget I have cancer, especially on a good day. The bald head will be a constant reminder.
Oh well - will see how the day goes - perhaps I will get the courage.
Sunday
Well, I didn't take the plunge on Friday - and on Saturday I just ignored the fact that anything was happening. The kids came over and the house was full of people and two dogs - so it was not time to think about myself. I was introduced to the new puppy - Zoe - and fell in love. She is so cute and a very good puppy,. Brandon and Tamara have strict rules with her and hopefully the training works out for them. They brought her cage and she is so good - goes in to it no problem - and we didn't hear a peak from her during the night. She played with Steve - they met in the park and chased each other and play until they were exhausted. Steve tells her when she oversteps the mark and it was interesting to watch them.
They all left on Saturday to cut down the tree -took the dogs and had fun picking out the tree that was 'just right'!.
We started getting the tree into the living room this morning, however the tree stand wasn't cooperating. We had got it in the stand and started decorating and it was looking really nice. I went to add 1 more ornament and the thing started to tilt!! Oh Oh - not fitting well in the stand. So we had to 'undress' the tree and Brandon had to cut off bottom branches and re-set it into the stand.
I finally made the decision to have the hair gone and we called Tina at Baxter's Wigs and asked if we could come over and have the hair cut off. They are so good there - Tina didn't hesitate (remember it is Sunday) and said to come on over. So off and I we went - she very gently took the hair off and it was quite the transformation. I didn't cry - I was ready. I knew it was coming and it was just a matter of doing it. So they tell me, surprisingly, that I look pretty good with the bald. A couple of times I caught a glimpse of my dad in the mirror (my dad was bald from being young) ha ha - so I did it!! Rockin' the bald!!! CANCER VIXEN!!! My new nickname!!
I had my wig adjusted to fit properly and so I left looking better than I did going in. It's done. I bought a 'buff' - kind of a turban thing - just something to cover my head and wear around the house etc. Then as Nicole is leaving she gave me an early Christmas present which was another buff but in a different colour - so I am all set.
When Nicole and I got back home - the tree was decorated and looking so pretty! Thanks Brandon and Tamara for doing that while we were gone.
I quite like the feel of 'no hair' - it is a bit liberating. Remember it is cut at a No 1 on the clippers, so there is a little bit of hair - but it will all fall out - in fact you can pull it out no problem - but I will let it disappear on its own.
Gift opening this weekend. Yesterday I opened 2 - one for Friday and one for Saturday:
1st was 2 nail polishes and nail files - great colours - one is glittery and I will wear for the Christmas party. Thank you so much gift giver
2nd was an assortment of body products - Aveeno moisturiziners, creams, mints, etc. etc. Fabulous - thank you so much.
And today's gift for just great - several packages in one bag - not sure if I was supposed to open them all, but I did - braided hat, socks, movie passes, Prada perfume (yum) and a book. Thank you so much.
It is amazing having these gifts to open - I still can't believe it. And I am loving it!! Thanks to everyone,.
Jeaninne
Oh well - will see how the day goes - perhaps I will get the courage.
Sunday
Well, I didn't take the plunge on Friday - and on Saturday I just ignored the fact that anything was happening. The kids came over and the house was full of people and two dogs - so it was not time to think about myself. I was introduced to the new puppy - Zoe - and fell in love. She is so cute and a very good puppy,. Brandon and Tamara have strict rules with her and hopefully the training works out for them. They brought her cage and she is so good - goes in to it no problem - and we didn't hear a peak from her during the night. She played with Steve - they met in the park and chased each other and play until they were exhausted. Steve tells her when she oversteps the mark and it was interesting to watch them.
They all left on Saturday to cut down the tree -took the dogs and had fun picking out the tree that was 'just right'!.
We started getting the tree into the living room this morning, however the tree stand wasn't cooperating. We had got it in the stand and started decorating and it was looking really nice. I went to add 1 more ornament and the thing started to tilt!! Oh Oh - not fitting well in the stand. So we had to 'undress' the tree and Brandon had to cut off bottom branches and re-set it into the stand.
I finally made the decision to have the hair gone and we called Tina at Baxter's Wigs and asked if we could come over and have the hair cut off. They are so good there - Tina didn't hesitate (remember it is Sunday) and said to come on over. So off and I we went - she very gently took the hair off and it was quite the transformation. I didn't cry - I was ready. I knew it was coming and it was just a matter of doing it. So they tell me, surprisingly, that I look pretty good with the bald. A couple of times I caught a glimpse of my dad in the mirror (my dad was bald from being young) ha ha - so I did it!! Rockin' the bald!!! CANCER VIXEN!!! My new nickname!!
I had my wig adjusted to fit properly and so I left looking better than I did going in. It's done. I bought a 'buff' - kind of a turban thing - just something to cover my head and wear around the house etc. Then as Nicole is leaving she gave me an early Christmas present which was another buff but in a different colour - so I am all set.
When Nicole and I got back home - the tree was decorated and looking so pretty! Thanks Brandon and Tamara for doing that while we were gone.
I quite like the feel of 'no hair' - it is a bit liberating. Remember it is cut at a No 1 on the clippers, so there is a little bit of hair - but it will all fall out - in fact you can pull it out no problem - but I will let it disappear on its own.
Gift opening this weekend. Yesterday I opened 2 - one for Friday and one for Saturday:
1st was 2 nail polishes and nail files - great colours - one is glittery and I will wear for the Christmas party. Thank you so much gift giver
2nd was an assortment of body products - Aveeno moisturiziners, creams, mints, etc. etc. Fabulous - thank you so much.
And today's gift for just great - several packages in one bag - not sure if I was supposed to open them all, but I did - braided hat, socks, movie passes, Prada perfume (yum) and a book. Thank you so much.
It is amazing having these gifts to open - I still can't believe it. And I am loving it!! Thanks to everyone,.
Jeaninne
Thursday, 1 December 2011
New family member - Zoe
Thursday - feeling like I have to enjoy my freedom for the next few days before I have my chemo on Tuesday - trying to get ready for Christmas and doing a little shopping here and there and get things done while I can. In a way starting to panic. The kids are coming over on Saturday to cut down the tree and it would be nice to get it put up right away. That way I can enjoy the twinkling lights even though I might not be feeling that good.
Hair is coming out extensively now and so tomorrow I think I will go and have it cut off - a No. 1 with the clippers. Nervous and not sure how I should be feeling - I guess we shall see. I have my wig, so will need to take that with me and the girls will adjust it accordingly, once the hair is gone. It is all part of what was expected. They tell you everything that will happen, and there have been no surprises so far.
Was good to see everyone at the office today - everyone is busy preparing for year end and I feel a bit left out of the loop. The weeks are flying by though and I know I will be backto work before you know it.
My gift today is a selection of magazines, that I will really enjoy. (I am too cheap to buy them myself)!! :) Thank you so much. It is like Christmas every day!
I have to tell you I am now the proud grandmother of a new puppy!!! Yes - my son Brandon and his girlfriend Tamara have adopted "Zoe" a 5 month old puppy and just released from the Toronto Humane Society after being neutered and chipped etc. They fell in love with her on Saturday when they went in just to look at the dogs, but she couldn't be released until after her surgery. (Dangerous to go looking I say)! So yesterday they were able to pick her up - they were there before it opened, worried that someone else was going to take 'their dog'! So they bonded pretty quickly and apparently there was no doubt that the dog loved them - so Zoe came home with them yesterday - they had to quickly buy a cage and dog bed etc. and she seemed to settle very quickly. Brandon tells me she slept through the night in her cage and he had to wake her this morning to go out for her 'walkies'! He is planning to take some time off to be with her and try and get her trained somewhat, but so far so good. So with two cats and now a dog in a small apartment..... they must be crazy! But Brandon is in love - he has always wanted a puppy but his mean mom and dad would never get one for him!!
So I guess I will be getting two four legged friends over on the weekend - oh my hardwood floors!!!!!
Well signing off - it is getting late.
J
Hair is coming out extensively now and so tomorrow I think I will go and have it cut off - a No. 1 with the clippers. Nervous and not sure how I should be feeling - I guess we shall see. I have my wig, so will need to take that with me and the girls will adjust it accordingly, once the hair is gone. It is all part of what was expected. They tell you everything that will happen, and there have been no surprises so far.
Was good to see everyone at the office today - everyone is busy preparing for year end and I feel a bit left out of the loop. The weeks are flying by though and I know I will be backto work before you know it.
My gift today is a selection of magazines, that I will really enjoy. (I am too cheap to buy them myself)!! :) Thank you so much. It is like Christmas every day!
I have to tell you I am now the proud grandmother of a new puppy!!! Yes - my son Brandon and his girlfriend Tamara have adopted "Zoe" a 5 month old puppy and just released from the Toronto Humane Society after being neutered and chipped etc. They fell in love with her on Saturday when they went in just to look at the dogs, but she couldn't be released until after her surgery. (Dangerous to go looking I say)! So yesterday they were able to pick her up - they were there before it opened, worried that someone else was going to take 'their dog'! So they bonded pretty quickly and apparently there was no doubt that the dog loved them - so Zoe came home with them yesterday - they had to quickly buy a cage and dog bed etc. and she seemed to settle very quickly. Brandon tells me she slept through the night in her cage and he had to wake her this morning to go out for her 'walkies'! He is planning to take some time off to be with her and try and get her trained somewhat, but so far so good. So with two cats and now a dog in a small apartment..... they must be crazy! But Brandon is in love - he has always wanted a puppy but his mean mom and dad would never get one for him!!
So I guess I will be getting two four legged friends over on the weekend - oh my hardwood floors!!!!!
Well signing off - it is getting late.
J
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
The first snow
Wednesday afternoon. Well we have just had a little snow storm and it sure looked pretty - but pleased it didn't last long. The sun is shining now.
I have to tell you I have been into the wine - two bottles in the last two days - ahhh someone knows my weakness!!! Yes two bottles - Tuesday and Wednesday's gifts from the Sunshine Basket. No, I haven't been drinking it - just opening the gifts. Lovely - thank you gift givers. No cards on either bottle. They are tucked away in the wine rack until I am able to enjoy them properly. Monday's gift was a lovely candle - black and mysterious - smells great. Thank you.
Well - today is the first day the hair has started to 'release' - yes a few long strands in the hairbrush this morning. I quickly put it up - didn't wash it 'cos I didn't want to lose any more. My head has been itching and is a little sensitive in some places. So it all falls in with the plan - pretty much spot on with what I was told at the hospital.
The nurse has just been to change the PICC line again - it get's flushed out and checked to make sure things can run smoothly.
I am trying to get prepared for Christmas - ordered a few things on line this week and got my Christmas letter done and printed off. Just have to do my cards now. They are waiting for me on the dining room table! Trying to get on top of things ready for the onslaught of next week's chemo treatment.
Will sign off for now.
Love J
I have to tell you I have been into the wine - two bottles in the last two days - ahhh someone knows my weakness!!! Yes two bottles - Tuesday and Wednesday's gifts from the Sunshine Basket. No, I haven't been drinking it - just opening the gifts. Lovely - thank you gift givers. No cards on either bottle. They are tucked away in the wine rack until I am able to enjoy them properly. Monday's gift was a lovely candle - black and mysterious - smells great. Thank you.
Well - today is the first day the hair has started to 'release' - yes a few long strands in the hairbrush this morning. I quickly put it up - didn't wash it 'cos I didn't want to lose any more. My head has been itching and is a little sensitive in some places. So it all falls in with the plan - pretty much spot on with what I was told at the hospital.
The nurse has just been to change the PICC line again - it get's flushed out and checked to make sure things can run smoothly.
I am trying to get prepared for Christmas - ordered a few things on line this week and got my Christmas letter done and printed off. Just have to do my cards now. They are waiting for me on the dining room table! Trying to get on top of things ready for the onslaught of next week's chemo treatment.
Will sign off for now.
Love J
Sunday, 27 November 2011
Lazy Day Sunday
Not much to report today, but wanted to let you know about my gifts this weekend:
Scrabble chocolates - never seen those before - I will play the game by myself so I don't have to share! :)
Also several boxes of various Swiss chocolates, cookies - great help over the Christmas period to share with visitors - I doubt I will be baking!
So thank you friends - always fun to have something to open and enjoy.
It is 8 pm and I am not even dressed - typical rainy day Sunday - it was nice.
Feeling quite good though - I did a bit of shopping yesterday and was happy to get out of the house - but one trip around Canadian Tire and I was done. One forget's that the body is constantly fighting and so the energy level is not there.
Anyway - I am enjoying feeling better - mouth sores gone and I have a smile on my face.
Have a good week everyone.
J
Scrabble chocolates - never seen those before - I will play the game by myself so I don't have to share! :)
Also several boxes of various Swiss chocolates, cookies - great help over the Christmas period to share with visitors - I doubt I will be baking!
So thank you friends - always fun to have something to open and enjoy.
It is 8 pm and I am not even dressed - typical rainy day Sunday - it was nice.
Feeling quite good though - I did a bit of shopping yesterday and was happy to get out of the house - but one trip around Canadian Tire and I was done. One forget's that the body is constantly fighting and so the energy level is not there.
Anyway - I am enjoying feeling better - mouth sores gone and I have a smile on my face.
Have a good week everyone.
J
Friday, 25 November 2011
I feel good!
Friday and feeling great. I caught myself singing in the kitchen this morning - quite the change from the previous few days. Did some laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, helped George with some paperwork, wrote my Christmas letter and generally enjoyed my day. IT FELT GOOD!! I even cooked a real meal for supper!
Nurse came today to change the PICC line - so all good for 1 week. I do however, have some pain in the inside of my right arm by the elbow joint - I can feel a swelling and it feels like it is bruised. So I had better call the nurse tomorrow and ask about it - I read that your joints can be affected, but this is just 1 area and doesn't really feel like joint pain. Will keep you posted.
Just spoke with my sister Bev on Skype for about 1 hour - it is awesome. So while talking with her she asked about my gift for today and of course I had forgotten about it and so went into the living room and chose another basket - so today I opened up a book by Deanna Favre .."Don't bet against me"!! I don't know who it is from as there was no card, so just want to say thank you so much. Should be interesting reading. I also opened yesterday's gift of a pair of sunflower hand made slippers, which will keep my toes nice and warm while undergoing my chemo. Thank you gift giver. It is amazing that I can share with my Sister, 3 thousand miles away, the opening of a gift! How cool!
Well the weekend is here again - time is just flying by. Enjoy everyone - I will catch up with you on Monday.
Jeaninne
Nurse came today to change the PICC line - so all good for 1 week. I do however, have some pain in the inside of my right arm by the elbow joint - I can feel a swelling and it feels like it is bruised. So I had better call the nurse tomorrow and ask about it - I read that your joints can be affected, but this is just 1 area and doesn't really feel like joint pain. Will keep you posted.
Just spoke with my sister Bev on Skype for about 1 hour - it is awesome. So while talking with her she asked about my gift for today and of course I had forgotten about it and so went into the living room and chose another basket - so today I opened up a book by Deanna Favre .."Don't bet against me"!! I don't know who it is from as there was no card, so just want to say thank you so much. Should be interesting reading. I also opened yesterday's gift of a pair of sunflower hand made slippers, which will keep my toes nice and warm while undergoing my chemo. Thank you gift giver. It is amazing that I can share with my Sister, 3 thousand miles away, the opening of a gift! How cool!
Well the weekend is here again - time is just flying by. Enjoy everyone - I will catch up with you on Monday.
Jeaninne
Wednesday, 23 November 2011
Just before going to bed I decided to open one more gift ...... English Candy - so of course I couldn't go to bed before eating the Dolly Mixtures - yummy. Some of my favourites in this package. I don't think I was supposed to open this until the gang from work come over - but hey - its not about them!!! lol
The mug sort of says everything about how I have felt about the world today "Bollocks"....... love it. I have been bitchy, miserable, in pain and generally not very nice. I don't think I got my sleep out - was woken up before my time this morning. My poor husband doesn't quite know what to do with me. Hoping for a better day tomorrow.
Thank you so much gift giver - I appreciate the thoughtfulness so much.
Well I think I explained how I was today in the 2nd paragraph - so no need to expand.
J
The mug sort of says everything about how I have felt about the world today "Bollocks"....... love it. I have been bitchy, miserable, in pain and generally not very nice. I don't think I got my sleep out - was woken up before my time this morning. My poor husband doesn't quite know what to do with me. Hoping for a better day tomorrow.
Thank you so much gift giver - I appreciate the thoughtfulness so much.
Well I think I explained how I was today in the 2nd paragraph - so no need to expand.
J
Tuesday, 22 November 2011
Days 7 & 8
Not a good day Monday - didn't want to talk to anyone - sort of feeling sorry for myself. Mouth sores are bothering me and can't eat anything that I have to chew much. So soup and pudding it is.
Feeling better today - stomach still not right, but no vomiting. Energy still low, but just doing what my body is telling me.
I had an eye doctor appointment in the area, so stopped off at the office afterwards. It is always good to see everyone and I always feel better for their energy and boost of goodwill.
Sunshine basket gifts for yesterday and today are .....
A scrumptious box of hazelnut milk chocolates and
A Scarf .... just my colours - it will match the baseball cap - this was part of one of Sunday's gifts - from the same person - but had been wrapped separately,.
So my head and neck will be warm when the bald hits me and my tummy will be full.
Thank you so much everyone.
J
Feeling better today - stomach still not right, but no vomiting. Energy still low, but just doing what my body is telling me.
I had an eye doctor appointment in the area, so stopped off at the office afterwards. It is always good to see everyone and I always feel better for their energy and boost of goodwill.
Sunshine basket gifts for yesterday and today are .....
A scrumptious box of hazelnut milk chocolates and
A Scarf .... just my colours - it will match the baseball cap - this was part of one of Sunday's gifts - from the same person - but had been wrapped separately,.
So my head and neck will be warm when the bald hits me and my tummy will be full.
Thank you so much everyone.
J
Sunday, 20 November 2011
Days 4,5,6
Sunday evening - just trying to get a few words down before going off to bed.
I have felt better - very tired, in fact on Saturday I got up at noon - stayed up for about 1 hour and promptly went onto the couch and slept the day away. I guess that is a good thing, stops me from being grouchy with George. So I have to admit I felt a little off - headache, stomach upset - not throwing up - but just off - body aches - flu like symptons. Actually I am feeling better now at 10:30 at night than I have all weekend. So hoping I am on the upward track until the next chemo hit. Will keep you posted.
It was Brandon's birthday today, so he and Tamara came over this afternoon and Nicole showed up as well to pick up Steve. It was nice to see them all. Brandon enjoyed his gifts and we had a few laughs. Nicole told us all about her New York trip, which she loved. She managed to see two Broadway shows and covered quite a few miles - she enjoyed it so much.
I hadn't opened a Sunshine Basket gift in a couple of days (just hadn't got the energy believe it or not), but I got to share the opening of 3 today with the family - Tamara is crazy about presents - so it is more fun opening and sharing with them. So today the first gift was a beautiful scarf with a lovely design - peacocks I think - it is just so beautiful - I am hoping I can figure out how to do the headscarf thing once I lose my hair. The only problem with this gift is that there was no name/no card - so I am not able to send a personal email of thanks. So if anyone knows who sent this gift, I would love to know.
Gift #2 is some lovely body wash - smells great - George better keep his fingers off it!!! lol
Gift #3 is a ball cap (pink of course) - they tell me I suit it - of course why wouldn't I (lol) - a book called "God Never Blinks" - 50 lessons for Life's Little Detours - I love it - that is what is going on right now - it's a Detour!!
So big thanks to all for your kind words and prayers. I really appreciated it.
So, hopefully next week I will be back to normal (as normal as it can be at the moment).
J
I have felt better - very tired, in fact on Saturday I got up at noon - stayed up for about 1 hour and promptly went onto the couch and slept the day away. I guess that is a good thing, stops me from being grouchy with George. So I have to admit I felt a little off - headache, stomach upset - not throwing up - but just off - body aches - flu like symptons. Actually I am feeling better now at 10:30 at night than I have all weekend. So hoping I am on the upward track until the next chemo hit. Will keep you posted.
It was Brandon's birthday today, so he and Tamara came over this afternoon and Nicole showed up as well to pick up Steve. It was nice to see them all. Brandon enjoyed his gifts and we had a few laughs. Nicole told us all about her New York trip, which she loved. She managed to see two Broadway shows and covered quite a few miles - she enjoyed it so much.
I hadn't opened a Sunshine Basket gift in a couple of days (just hadn't got the energy believe it or not), but I got to share the opening of 3 today with the family - Tamara is crazy about presents - so it is more fun opening and sharing with them. So today the first gift was a beautiful scarf with a lovely design - peacocks I think - it is just so beautiful - I am hoping I can figure out how to do the headscarf thing once I lose my hair. The only problem with this gift is that there was no name/no card - so I am not able to send a personal email of thanks. So if anyone knows who sent this gift, I would love to know.
Gift #2 is some lovely body wash - smells great - George better keep his fingers off it!!! lol
Gift #3 is a ball cap (pink of course) - they tell me I suit it - of course why wouldn't I (lol) - a book called "God Never Blinks" - 50 lessons for Life's Little Detours - I love it - that is what is going on right now - it's a Detour!!
So big thanks to all for your kind words and prayers. I really appreciated it.
So, hopefully next week I will be back to normal (as normal as it can be at the moment).
J
Thursday, 17 November 2011
Day 3
Took it easy today - although, I did attempt filling out some Government forms, and you all know what that can be like - it was a marathon. The focus is not there at the moment.
I have also been trying to do some knitting and don't seem to get very far - under normal circumstances I would have whipped half a dozen hats up by now - still only half way through the first one.
Sent Maureen home today - she has been wonderful. She has done laundry, washed floors, made meals and been a wonderful support.
Sunshine gift today is ....... dah dah .... some lovely Belgium chocolates and a gift card for Debbie's in Ajax for a tea or coffee treat. Yum. Thank you so much gift giver - I have just finished my dinner and a chocolate will go down nicely about now. It is almost embarrassing going into the living room and saying to myself, 'which one shall I pick today'! They all look so beautiful it is hard to choose. I am feeling very spoiled.
Love to all
Jeaninne
I have also been trying to do some knitting and don't seem to get very far - under normal circumstances I would have whipped half a dozen hats up by now - still only half way through the first one.
Sent Maureen home today - she has been wonderful. She has done laundry, washed floors, made meals and been a wonderful support.
Sunshine gift today is ....... dah dah .... some lovely Belgium chocolates and a gift card for Debbie's in Ajax for a tea or coffee treat. Yum. Thank you so much gift giver - I have just finished my dinner and a chocolate will go down nicely about now. It is almost embarrassing going into the living room and saying to myself, 'which one shall I pick today'! They all look so beautiful it is hard to choose. I am feeling very spoiled.
Love to all
Jeaninne
Wednesday, 16 November 2011
Day 2
Just checking in to let you know I am doing fine - day 2 down and feeling OK - waiting for something to happen, but nothing has so far. They say the drugs are flushed out of your system within 48 to 72 hours or so - so I am banking on that. Maureen has been staying with me and Brandon is also coming home for a few days - commuting in the morning to Toronto - so I am feeling well loved. I think George is quite enjoying the two wife thing!! :)
Was a bit wound up and emotional earlier today - needed some quiet time, although this afternoon felt good enough to go and pick up my wig - yes - I finally made a decision and chose the one the girls at Baxters ordered for me - so I am ready now for the hair to fall out. They say that once it starts you know immediately it is time to cut it off - so the girls at the wig place are ready with their clippers for when that day comes for me. I'll be ready to rock the bald! (Maybe)!! I am not sure anyone can be ready.
Sunshine basket gift for today is the cutest black and crystal chandelier - a miniature one beautfilly wrapped in a sparkly black little pouch - just my style. (Too bad there was only one though - they could be great earrings) lol - just kidding it is soooo cute, and yes, it did make me smile. Thank you so much - I am enjoying immensely this marvelous gesture.
Tomorrow I am going to rest. Feel like I could sleep for a week.
J
Was a bit wound up and emotional earlier today - needed some quiet time, although this afternoon felt good enough to go and pick up my wig - yes - I finally made a decision and chose the one the girls at Baxters ordered for me - so I am ready now for the hair to fall out. They say that once it starts you know immediately it is time to cut it off - so the girls at the wig place are ready with their clippers for when that day comes for me. I'll be ready to rock the bald! (Maybe)!! I am not sure anyone can be ready.
Sunshine basket gift for today is the cutest black and crystal chandelier - a miniature one beautfilly wrapped in a sparkly black little pouch - just my style. (Too bad there was only one though - they could be great earrings) lol - just kidding it is soooo cute, and yes, it did make me smile. Thank you so much - I am enjoying immensely this marvelous gesture.
Tomorrow I am going to rest. Feel like I could sleep for a week.
J
Tuesday, 15 November 2011
DAY 1
Tuesday evening - sitting watching tv and thought I better get this done before falling asleep. My eyes feel tired.
I had my treatment today - very scary walking into that room - the volunteer lady was terrific though and she is my new best friend. They sat me down in a very comfortable chair, with a pillow and got started by plugging me into a saline drip to get some fluid into me. I had been drinking water all day so needless to say the bathroom breaks are a little more regular! After the saline drip - the nurse then pumps the meds in manually - they go in quicker that way. Two huge syringes filled with pink meds first, then I had to eat ice chips before having the next one. Apparently the white meds can cause mouth sores - so they wanted me to chill down your mouth and then the chemo is not so effective in those areas. So like a good girl I ate my ice chips and then they pumped in the white meds. I thought I might feel something right away but I didnt. Very slightly perhaps in the nasal area - she told me sometimes people feel it in their sinuses and get a bit sniffly with the 2nd drug. But it was very very minor for me so far. Had to take a bathroom break and I was already peeing pink - just my colour!!! Weird eh!! The next step was a saline drip again for about half an hour and then home. So in all it takes approx 2.1/2 hours. Both Maureen and Brandon came with me and took turns sitting with me - Maureen and I did our knitting and Brandon entertained the nurses!! I had to pick up another drug on the way out that will be injected by the home care nurse tomorrow. This is the very expensive drug I told you about in previous blogs. $2600.00 - never had a drug receipt showing that much money before! I was worried about getting mugged on the way home!!! lol I have this drug after every chemo treatment, it is supposed to boost the white blood count, which in turn helps the immune system. Oh the expense - but I am lucky that my drug plan covers 80% and the Drug Company program tops it up. So - no charge to me. Lucky eh.
So no adverse affects so far - taking it one day at a time. In the life of a Breast Cancer patient - 1 day down and 125 more days on chemo to go. But today I am smiling.
Prior to going for my chemo treatment I went to the Look Good Feel Better program offered at Hearth Place. It was a fun couple of hours - lots of makeup products provided by various sponsors - Clarins, Avon, Loreal, Shoppers, Aveno - lots of stuff to bring home with me - and a great presentation with a volunteer model to show us how to apply the makeup - particularly if the eyebrows and eyelashes are gone. The Wig ladies were there from Baxters and they did a great presentation also. The model lady looked beautiful by the time the makeup was on (not that she didn't look beautiful before that) - but the colours suited her and they tried several wigs on her and one of them was fab. so I was hoping her daughter, who was with her, would encourage her to get the wig. They also tried on the caps and scarfs, turbans etc. This particular lady looked great in them all. So we went from there to the hospital and checked in. Took our lunch with us (being frugal) and braced ourselves for the next step.
So got home around 4 pm, glad that they first one was over and now knowing what to expect. I am staying up to watch Dancing with the Stars to see who gets voted off, then off to bed. I am surprised that I didn't want to crawl into bed as soon as I got home. I still had an appetite and enjoyed a great lasagna dinner kindly donated to us, which made life very simple for us today.
My gift for today is a 'whole pile of wonderful stuff' - a book to enjoy in my quiet time, Danielle Steel's latest "Legacy" - hope there is some good sexy bits (I'll mark the pages) lol; a beautifully smelling candle which I will place on my the table beside me; an angel to look over me which I will put on my night table; some Quality Street chocolates, which I am eating now, and some lovely body lotion that takes me away to the tropics. But best of all was the sentiments - the writer wrote:
"No asperations of being a poet (good thing too because I can't have someone else doing my job) but let me try to set the stage .....
Picture our Jeaninne, sitting all warm and comfy in her jammies on the couch, with her feet up - beside her on the table, the soft flicker and glow from a candle. Having just finished massaging her hands with refreshing lotion she is ready to dive into a good book, while enjoying some bonbons....All this with a special angel to carefully watch over her ......."
Thank you, thank you. By the way the bonbons are gone as I write!!! lol
Steve is with me for a few days 'cos Nicole is in New York - so he is behaving himself. He is getting spoiled because Maureen keeps giving him cheese - he loves his cheese. But he is not sleeping in the front hall when the girls are home - only when George is home alone - not sure he likes George much - perhaps it is his walking cane that intimidates him! :) He is flat out now.
Well - I will say goodnight. Thanks for your prayers and thoughts. I appreciate everyone.
Love J
I had my treatment today - very scary walking into that room - the volunteer lady was terrific though and she is my new best friend. They sat me down in a very comfortable chair, with a pillow and got started by plugging me into a saline drip to get some fluid into me. I had been drinking water all day so needless to say the bathroom breaks are a little more regular! After the saline drip - the nurse then pumps the meds in manually - they go in quicker that way. Two huge syringes filled with pink meds first, then I had to eat ice chips before having the next one. Apparently the white meds can cause mouth sores - so they wanted me to chill down your mouth and then the chemo is not so effective in those areas. So like a good girl I ate my ice chips and then they pumped in the white meds. I thought I might feel something right away but I didnt. Very slightly perhaps in the nasal area - she told me sometimes people feel it in their sinuses and get a bit sniffly with the 2nd drug. But it was very very minor for me so far. Had to take a bathroom break and I was already peeing pink - just my colour!!! Weird eh!! The next step was a saline drip again for about half an hour and then home. So in all it takes approx 2.1/2 hours. Both Maureen and Brandon came with me and took turns sitting with me - Maureen and I did our knitting and Brandon entertained the nurses!! I had to pick up another drug on the way out that will be injected by the home care nurse tomorrow. This is the very expensive drug I told you about in previous blogs. $2600.00 - never had a drug receipt showing that much money before! I was worried about getting mugged on the way home!!! lol I have this drug after every chemo treatment, it is supposed to boost the white blood count, which in turn helps the immune system. Oh the expense - but I am lucky that my drug plan covers 80% and the Drug Company program tops it up. So - no charge to me. Lucky eh.
So no adverse affects so far - taking it one day at a time. In the life of a Breast Cancer patient - 1 day down and 125 more days on chemo to go. But today I am smiling.
Prior to going for my chemo treatment I went to the Look Good Feel Better program offered at Hearth Place. It was a fun couple of hours - lots of makeup products provided by various sponsors - Clarins, Avon, Loreal, Shoppers, Aveno - lots of stuff to bring home with me - and a great presentation with a volunteer model to show us how to apply the makeup - particularly if the eyebrows and eyelashes are gone. The Wig ladies were there from Baxters and they did a great presentation also. The model lady looked beautiful by the time the makeup was on (not that she didn't look beautiful before that) - but the colours suited her and they tried several wigs on her and one of them was fab. so I was hoping her daughter, who was with her, would encourage her to get the wig. They also tried on the caps and scarfs, turbans etc. This particular lady looked great in them all. So we went from there to the hospital and checked in. Took our lunch with us (being frugal) and braced ourselves for the next step.
So got home around 4 pm, glad that they first one was over and now knowing what to expect. I am staying up to watch Dancing with the Stars to see who gets voted off, then off to bed. I am surprised that I didn't want to crawl into bed as soon as I got home. I still had an appetite and enjoyed a great lasagna dinner kindly donated to us, which made life very simple for us today.
My gift for today is a 'whole pile of wonderful stuff' - a book to enjoy in my quiet time, Danielle Steel's latest "Legacy" - hope there is some good sexy bits (I'll mark the pages) lol; a beautifully smelling candle which I will place on my the table beside me; an angel to look over me which I will put on my night table; some Quality Street chocolates, which I am eating now, and some lovely body lotion that takes me away to the tropics. But best of all was the sentiments - the writer wrote:
"No asperations of being a poet (good thing too because I can't have someone else doing my job) but let me try to set the stage .....
Picture our Jeaninne, sitting all warm and comfy in her jammies on the couch, with her feet up - beside her on the table, the soft flicker and glow from a candle. Having just finished massaging her hands with refreshing lotion she is ready to dive into a good book, while enjoying some bonbons....All this with a special angel to carefully watch over her ......."
Thank you, thank you. By the way the bonbons are gone as I write!!! lol
Steve is with me for a few days 'cos Nicole is in New York - so he is behaving himself. He is getting spoiled because Maureen keeps giving him cheese - he loves his cheese. But he is not sleeping in the front hall when the girls are home - only when George is home alone - not sure he likes George much - perhaps it is his walking cane that intimidates him! :) He is flat out now.
Well - I will say goodnight. Thanks for your prayers and thoughts. I appreciate everyone.
Love J
Monday, 14 November 2011
Day before the big 'C'
Hello everyone - it has been another busy day - had to be at the hospital for 9:00 am. It was so busy - I have never seen so many people in the waiting room so everyone was running behind. It turns out it was because they were closed on Friday (Remembrance day). Got the bloodwork done first and then saw a nurse who checked my weight and asked a lot of questions about the state of my health etc. They need to know before starting the Chemo on what is happening to me before the Chemo kicks in. I then saw the Medical Oncologist (MED ONC), Dr. Shim - she just went over my pathology reports from the surgeries again and confirmed what we knew already. It was short and sweet. I then had to make my way to the x-ray department to have the PICC line put into my arm. This is done to avoid having IV's done every time they give you the Chemo treatment. It can also be used for CT Scans and for getting blood. The PICC line can stay in for up to 1 year. It was a surgical procedure with freezing and scrubs and with me laying on the bed with the x-ray machine above me to make sure they got the line into the right place. The line goes all the way into the chest up to the heart. It is taped down onto your arm and has like a valve there. So it was a bit scary for me. They freeze the arm area and then insert a needle - it did hurt a little but not for very long. It was over in 15 minutes or so. The arm feels a little achy and I know it is there, but I think that is just a matter of getting used to it. The only thing is I have to avoid getting it wet - just in case of infection. That is going to be fun - think I will punch a hole in the shower curtain and stick my arm through! :)
I have to drink lots of water and pee as much as I like. This is to help flush some of the chemicals out of my body. So I have been trying to do that - not a big fan on regular water and coffee/tea does not count.
We left the hospital (Maureen and I) about 11:45 and had a run out to Newcastle to look at some houses for sale - so we enjoyed our afternoon - didn't get back until after 5 or so.
So I didn't get to my gift today until supper time. Today I opened a lovely pink bag and pink tissue and found a great book - the new Maeve Binchy novel - so plenty to keep me occupied while I am recovering. Thank you gift giver - I really appreciate it and I do enjoy this author.
Well I am tired and need to go to bed - hope I will sleep. Maureen is here to take care of me for a couple of days or so and Brandon will be at the hospital tomorrow as well. It feels good to have people around me looking out for me.
Thanks for all of your prayers. I am sure things will be fine and I will try and keep my spirits up.
Good night. I will check in tomorrow.
Jeaninne
I have to drink lots of water and pee as much as I like. This is to help flush some of the chemicals out of my body. So I have been trying to do that - not a big fan on regular water and coffee/tea does not count.
We left the hospital (Maureen and I) about 11:45 and had a run out to Newcastle to look at some houses for sale - so we enjoyed our afternoon - didn't get back until after 5 or so.
So I didn't get to my gift today until supper time. Today I opened a lovely pink bag and pink tissue and found a great book - the new Maeve Binchy novel - so plenty to keep me occupied while I am recovering. Thank you gift giver - I really appreciate it and I do enjoy this author.
Well I am tired and need to go to bed - hope I will sleep. Maureen is here to take care of me for a couple of days or so and Brandon will be at the hospital tomorrow as well. It feels good to have people around me looking out for me.
Thanks for all of your prayers. I am sure things will be fine and I will try and keep my spirits up.
Good night. I will check in tomorrow.
Jeaninne
Sunday, 13 November 2011
Wigs R Us
It's Sunday night and just checking in before going off to bed.
Had the whole family here today, including Maureen - so we were able to go out to Baxters and check on the wigs again. It get's more complicated the more people you have there. I believe I have narrowed it down though. There is one on order coming in next week and we believe it could be 'the one'. It is between two I like - and so we shall see what it looks like. Fun though - one becomes a different person!
I got to open another gift today and it was a beautiful hand painted wine glass (I don't know how they guessed that I enjoy a glass of wine)! lol It says, Live, Love and Laugh on the glass - and that is my motto!! Of course I had to christen it this evening - the wine tasted better than ever!! Thank you gift giver - I appreciate it soooo much. It was great to share the gift opening with the family.
Well - I am off to bed - tomorrow is a big day at the hospital in prep for Tuesday, which is when I have my first chemo.
Love to all
J
Had the whole family here today, including Maureen - so we were able to go out to Baxters and check on the wigs again. It get's more complicated the more people you have there. I believe I have narrowed it down though. There is one on order coming in next week and we believe it could be 'the one'. It is between two I like - and so we shall see what it looks like. Fun though - one becomes a different person!
I got to open another gift today and it was a beautiful hand painted wine glass (I don't know how they guessed that I enjoy a glass of wine)! lol It says, Live, Love and Laugh on the glass - and that is my motto!! Of course I had to christen it this evening - the wine tasted better than ever!! Thank you gift giver - I appreciate it soooo much. It was great to share the gift opening with the family.
Well - I am off to bed - tomorrow is a big day at the hospital in prep for Tuesday, which is when I have my first chemo.
Love to all
J
Saturday, 12 November 2011
DAY 2 OF GIFT OPENING
Well I couldn't wait to open one of my gifts this morning, but I waited for Nicole to come - we had had a call around 8:30 to say she was coming out as a friend (Jamie) had called her even earlier to say she was coming down from Peterborough. So I waited until Jamie was here and then opened one of the bags. It was a blue bag - beautiful card with a couple of gifts inside - a beautiful scarf and credit card holder and two movies - Poseiden and My Best Friend's Wedding, which is one of my favourite movies. So I was just thrilled. I love scarfs and wore it out and about today while shopping.
This is really something amazing and I am sure it is going to be like Christmas morning every day! Deciding which one to open first and taking my time opening while having my coffee.
I couldn't be more touched at the generosity of everyone at Messier-Dowty and cant thank you enough. Thank you thank you.
Bought myself a hat today - guess the bald head will get a little chilly during the winter - it has a bit of sparkle on it, so it suits my personality. I am not a hat person, but will have to get used to them I suppose.
Well - short and sweet today. Had a busy day out shopping with the girls and a very pleasant evening watching a movie. We watched Bridesmaids,. It was so funny - loved it.
Well - until tomorrow - that's it. Good night.
Jeaninne.
This is really something amazing and I am sure it is going to be like Christmas morning every day! Deciding which one to open first and taking my time opening while having my coffee.
I couldn't be more touched at the generosity of everyone at Messier-Dowty and cant thank you enough. Thank you thank you.
Bought myself a hat today - guess the bald head will get a little chilly during the winter - it has a bit of sparkle on it, so it suits my personality. I am not a hat person, but will have to get used to them I suppose.
Well - short and sweet today. Had a busy day out shopping with the girls and a very pleasant evening watching a movie. We watched Bridesmaids,. It was so funny - loved it.
Well - until tomorrow - that's it. Good night.
Jeaninne.
Friday, 11 November 2011
The Art of Receiving!!
What a day I have had.
First, this morning I had a 'Therapeutic Touch' appointment - something new for me - and one of the wonderful programs offered at Hearth Place. A very lovely lady, Dorothy, was the practitioner and, after we chatted for a while, got to work - I laid on the bed and she turned down the lights and put the spa like music on - she explained that she acts as a human energy support system by using her hands just above the body and then touching certain points - the feet - the arms and shoulders etc. and that it is the client's immunological system that takes over. So she suggested I was "sitting on the dock with the sun on my face and the water glistening" (you get the picture). I have to admit it took me a while to relax - I was thinking about my friends coming over this afternoon and I wasn't really ready - but to be truthful I did let it go and, although I wasn't sitting on the dock (more of a beach girl myself) I could feel myself relax. It was lovely - she had told me before we started that people sometimes cry out, or cry so not to be surprised should anything like that happen. Well, once she started touching my shoulders and arms the tears came - I had no intention of becoming emotional, it just happened. I was right into it. I don't know of the benefits - but it is good to take yourself away for a while. I enjoyed it and was surprised by the emotions I had.
Today the girls from the office came to visit: Kunpriye, Bibi, Stephanie, Elvira and Pauline. It had been arranged for a while and I was looking forward to seeing everyone. They brought lunch and we had a great time sitting around the table enjoying our food and telling our stories. I just love that they want to come and visit and give up their Friday afternoons for me. Bibi brings the wine and today she got her husband to come over also (the driver) and so she could enjoy a glass or two!!. After lunch most of the group disappeared for a while. They wouldn't allow me to see where they had gone and so I had to sit and wait. Well when I was allowed to come out into the hallway I couldn't believe my eyes - there were so many gift baskets and gifts within gift baskets and individual gifts - it was incredible - I am shedding tears as I am reliving that moment. They came with a poem and I will show it below. How amazing are the people I work with? I just feel so blessed and loved and undeserved really. The generosity of everyone is overwhelming - I was totally blown away and just don't know how to thank people.
Here is the poem:
To our friend Jeaninne
We have filled this lovely basket
With gifts for our friend Jeaninne
Our goal was to fill this lovely basket
With many many things
This basket is called Sunshine
A smile it does bring
When some days may seem dull and grey
We hope it makes you sing
The Sunshine Basket is unique
For no two are the same
Only one gift a day can be unwrapped
No peeking or shaking: you'll spoil the game
This gift is our way of saying
Hand in there nd stay strong
And know that if you need us
Just pick up the phone and call
Your friends at Messier-Dowty
So the deal is that I have one gift to open each day - to give me a lift when I am down, or just to give me glee and something to look forward to each day. What an amazing idea. Thank You all so much. I was allowed to open one gift today - it was a beautiful plant, lovely orange colour. Thank you Linda.
It was lovely that the husbands came over (Steph's husband Dennis came also) - we had a great time chatting and enjoying a glass of wine and I enjoyed so much having people over to the house. You know I have learned a few things - the house doesn't have to be perfect before inviting people over - I have had more people in my house in the last few months than I have in years and I love it. George is enjoying meeting everyone also - the girls are used to him now - he loves seeing them and enjoys the 'chatter'.
Needless to say - I am a lucky girl - good friends, family and working on good health!!!
Thank you, all of you.
Love Jeaninne
First, this morning I had a 'Therapeutic Touch' appointment - something new for me - and one of the wonderful programs offered at Hearth Place. A very lovely lady, Dorothy, was the practitioner and, after we chatted for a while, got to work - I laid on the bed and she turned down the lights and put the spa like music on - she explained that she acts as a human energy support system by using her hands just above the body and then touching certain points - the feet - the arms and shoulders etc. and that it is the client's immunological system that takes over. So she suggested I was "sitting on the dock with the sun on my face and the water glistening" (you get the picture). I have to admit it took me a while to relax - I was thinking about my friends coming over this afternoon and I wasn't really ready - but to be truthful I did let it go and, although I wasn't sitting on the dock (more of a beach girl myself) I could feel myself relax. It was lovely - she had told me before we started that people sometimes cry out, or cry so not to be surprised should anything like that happen. Well, once she started touching my shoulders and arms the tears came - I had no intention of becoming emotional, it just happened. I was right into it. I don't know of the benefits - but it is good to take yourself away for a while. I enjoyed it and was surprised by the emotions I had.
Today the girls from the office came to visit: Kunpriye, Bibi, Stephanie, Elvira and Pauline. It had been arranged for a while and I was looking forward to seeing everyone. They brought lunch and we had a great time sitting around the table enjoying our food and telling our stories. I just love that they want to come and visit and give up their Friday afternoons for me. Bibi brings the wine and today she got her husband to come over also (the driver) and so she could enjoy a glass or two!!. After lunch most of the group disappeared for a while. They wouldn't allow me to see where they had gone and so I had to sit and wait. Well when I was allowed to come out into the hallway I couldn't believe my eyes - there were so many gift baskets and gifts within gift baskets and individual gifts - it was incredible - I am shedding tears as I am reliving that moment. They came with a poem and I will show it below. How amazing are the people I work with? I just feel so blessed and loved and undeserved really. The generosity of everyone is overwhelming - I was totally blown away and just don't know how to thank people.
Here is the poem:
To our friend Jeaninne
We have filled this lovely basket
With gifts for our friend Jeaninne
Our goal was to fill this lovely basket
With many many things
This basket is called Sunshine
A smile it does bring
When some days may seem dull and grey
We hope it makes you sing
The Sunshine Basket is unique
For no two are the same
Only one gift a day can be unwrapped
No peeking or shaking: you'll spoil the game
This gift is our way of saying
Hand in there nd stay strong
And know that if you need us
Just pick up the phone and call
Your friends at Messier-Dowty
So the deal is that I have one gift to open each day - to give me a lift when I am down, or just to give me glee and something to look forward to each day. What an amazing idea. Thank You all so much. I was allowed to open one gift today - it was a beautiful plant, lovely orange colour. Thank you Linda.
It was lovely that the husbands came over (Steph's husband Dennis came also) - we had a great time chatting and enjoying a glass of wine and I enjoyed so much having people over to the house. You know I have learned a few things - the house doesn't have to be perfect before inviting people over - I have had more people in my house in the last few months than I have in years and I love it. George is enjoying meeting everyone also - the girls are used to him now - he loves seeing them and enjoys the 'chatter'.
Needless to say - I am a lucky girl - good friends, family and working on good health!!!
Thank you, all of you.
Love Jeaninne
Thursday, 10 November 2011
RADIATION ONCOLOGIST VISIT
I have had a busy week - getting prepared for the big week next week.
Had lunch with a friend on Tuesday, which I enjoyed very much. I did some errands and picked up a few bits and pieces for Christmas - trying to think of Christmas Shopping a little bit, but my brain doesn't go there for very long. Not my first priority at the moment.
On Wednesday I met with Dr. Dixon, the Radiation Oncologist (RAD ONC) - a very nice man. I am much more comfortable walking into the cancer centre now - it will become a very regular part of my life. People are so nice and sometimes serve coffee to the people waiting - all very civilized. Dr. Dixon examined my chest and asked about my general health. Checked my lungs and felt my neck (not sure why). I had been told that there would be 5 weeks of radiation treatments, daily, 5 days a week, for 5 weeks (25 sessions). Well he surprised me by telling me he wanted to do 6 weeks of treatment (30 sessions). My tumour was large as tumours go, 6.6 centimeters and very close to the chest wall. So they want to make sure they get rid of anything that might be lingering. Of course it just brought everything to the forefront again and I felt vulnerable and scared. I had sort of put out of my mind the fact that the cancer was a stage 3 out of 4 and close to the chest. He explained the process and advised the side affects (those darn side affects) the scary bits for me are that because it is the left side, the lung and heart are close and could be affected (very rarely), but I guess they have to tell you. I will not start this treatment until after the chemotherapy is finished. I have an appointment in March to go for a planning session - they do measurements and markings on the area that is to have the radiation. I think they do a dry run in a simulator machine, just so you know what to expect, it is a well organized process. So when I left there, my heart was heavy and I was feeling pretty low. I came home and went to bed.
Today I visited Baxters Wigs - two women running their business from the home. I tried on many wigs - I liked many of them - so will get a 2nd opinion when Maureen comes down. Just learned today that my insurance plan does not cover wigs - so that threw me a bit - they are quite expensive and I was thinking I could get a couple. Well I guess that is not going to happen now. I am very surprised wigs are not covered on my insurance - they cover the bras and the prosthesis, so I would have thought a wig was like a prosthesis! Oh well - it is what it is.
A good friend (Shirley G) came over this evening and we had dinner together - it was lovely. She brought me a present, "Betty Crocker - Living with Cancer Cookbook" - so I am going to check it out and see if I can get creative in the kitchen. I have been spoiled in recent years when George always did the cooking - but he can't stand for long these days and so it is my turn. I am sure most of the recipes are 'healthy'!!
Signing off for now. J
Had lunch with a friend on Tuesday, which I enjoyed very much. I did some errands and picked up a few bits and pieces for Christmas - trying to think of Christmas Shopping a little bit, but my brain doesn't go there for very long. Not my first priority at the moment.
On Wednesday I met with Dr. Dixon, the Radiation Oncologist (RAD ONC) - a very nice man. I am much more comfortable walking into the cancer centre now - it will become a very regular part of my life. People are so nice and sometimes serve coffee to the people waiting - all very civilized. Dr. Dixon examined my chest and asked about my general health. Checked my lungs and felt my neck (not sure why). I had been told that there would be 5 weeks of radiation treatments, daily, 5 days a week, for 5 weeks (25 sessions). Well he surprised me by telling me he wanted to do 6 weeks of treatment (30 sessions). My tumour was large as tumours go, 6.6 centimeters and very close to the chest wall. So they want to make sure they get rid of anything that might be lingering. Of course it just brought everything to the forefront again and I felt vulnerable and scared. I had sort of put out of my mind the fact that the cancer was a stage 3 out of 4 and close to the chest. He explained the process and advised the side affects (those darn side affects) the scary bits for me are that because it is the left side, the lung and heart are close and could be affected (very rarely), but I guess they have to tell you. I will not start this treatment until after the chemotherapy is finished. I have an appointment in March to go for a planning session - they do measurements and markings on the area that is to have the radiation. I think they do a dry run in a simulator machine, just so you know what to expect, it is a well organized process. So when I left there, my heart was heavy and I was feeling pretty low. I came home and went to bed.
Today I visited Baxters Wigs - two women running their business from the home. I tried on many wigs - I liked many of them - so will get a 2nd opinion when Maureen comes down. Just learned today that my insurance plan does not cover wigs - so that threw me a bit - they are quite expensive and I was thinking I could get a couple. Well I guess that is not going to happen now. I am very surprised wigs are not covered on my insurance - they cover the bras and the prosthesis, so I would have thought a wig was like a prosthesis! Oh well - it is what it is.
A good friend (Shirley G) came over this evening and we had dinner together - it was lovely. She brought me a present, "Betty Crocker - Living with Cancer Cookbook" - so I am going to check it out and see if I can get creative in the kitchen. I have been spoiled in recent years when George always did the cooking - but he can't stand for long these days and so it is my turn. I am sure most of the recipes are 'healthy'!!
Signing off for now. J
Sunday, 6 November 2011
MOvember - support your moustache growing friends as they raise funds for Prostate Cancer.
Hello - Sunday morning and another beautiful day - awesome for November. Speaking of November - or should I say MOvember - Brandon is growing his Moustache in an effort to raise funds for prostate cancer. So check it out - www.movember.com
Just chatted with my sister Bev on Skype - however the line wasn't very good today - so ended up calling her on the phone in the end. Technology is not perfect!!
Had a nice day with my daughter yesterday. We went to my favourite optician and picked out some new glasses. I have yet to have my eyes tested for the latest prescription, but wanted to get things in the works in case I did not feel like trekking downtown in the next little while. So she did all the measuring and got things ready to go once she receives the prescription. It was a beautiful day - we had Italian food at Diplomatico and people were sitting out on the patio enjoying the sunshine and having a beer. Perfect!
Friday I had a Reflexology treatment - just one of the services offered through Hearth Place. I didn't quite know what to expect - thought I might be able to do some ballet once I was done, but it didn't quite work that way!!! lol It was an enjoyable experience though and I enjoyed chatting with Bruce - a very interesting man, who has done a lot of very good things for people during his life. I look forward to the next time. I think George is ok with me seeing another man every now and again!! :)
I also decided to stop into a place called Blossom to look at wigs. I called ahead and so they were expecting me. Met with Yvonne who sat with me and talked about my situation and what I was looking for. They provide the whole package if you need it, i.e. wig consultation, hair cutting, head care products, manicure, pedicures. It is a nice experience. I tried on several wigs - some I loved and some I hated. So I narrowed it down somewhat and now just want a second opinion. They cut/shave your head once the hair starts to 'release'!! I liked that word - and I guess some people are sensitive about the hair falling out - so this is a gentle way of saying it. You have a private consultation - they have little booths and they pull the curtains together so you don't have to be seen if you don't want to be. For me, it is no big deal, but I guess for others, it is a traumatic thing.
So I am getting prepared. I feel strong, but at the same time am terrified. I know I will be reluctant to walk into that chemo room. Had a little tour last week and every chair was full - the waiting room is always busy - cancer is rampant. As I waited for my appointment on Thursday, I sat beside a couple, about my age I think - the husband was keep patting her knee, and they both looked scared. I mentioned that it was a beautiful day out and that I know we would rather be somewhere else - she seemed relieved that someone had spoken to her and it was like an ice breaker. Another gentleman came in and the nurse asked him how he was doing - he said "I'm surviving". An appropriate comment in the cancer waiting room. The lady and I looked at each other and laughed - I guess that is what we are all doing - surviving!! I was then called for my appointment, but I was wishing I had more time to spend with the lady next to me. I think she needed a friend. Perhaps I will see her again.
Well - I had better get up now and do some jobs. Laundry is waiting and I have procrastinated enough about the plant pots - yes - they are still not put away.
Just chatted with my sister Bev on Skype - however the line wasn't very good today - so ended up calling her on the phone in the end. Technology is not perfect!!
Had a nice day with my daughter yesterday. We went to my favourite optician and picked out some new glasses. I have yet to have my eyes tested for the latest prescription, but wanted to get things in the works in case I did not feel like trekking downtown in the next little while. So she did all the measuring and got things ready to go once she receives the prescription. It was a beautiful day - we had Italian food at Diplomatico and people were sitting out on the patio enjoying the sunshine and having a beer. Perfect!
Friday I had a Reflexology treatment - just one of the services offered through Hearth Place. I didn't quite know what to expect - thought I might be able to do some ballet once I was done, but it didn't quite work that way!!! lol It was an enjoyable experience though and I enjoyed chatting with Bruce - a very interesting man, who has done a lot of very good things for people during his life. I look forward to the next time. I think George is ok with me seeing another man every now and again!! :)
I also decided to stop into a place called Blossom to look at wigs. I called ahead and so they were expecting me. Met with Yvonne who sat with me and talked about my situation and what I was looking for. They provide the whole package if you need it, i.e. wig consultation, hair cutting, head care products, manicure, pedicures. It is a nice experience. I tried on several wigs - some I loved and some I hated. So I narrowed it down somewhat and now just want a second opinion. They cut/shave your head once the hair starts to 'release'!! I liked that word - and I guess some people are sensitive about the hair falling out - so this is a gentle way of saying it. You have a private consultation - they have little booths and they pull the curtains together so you don't have to be seen if you don't want to be. For me, it is no big deal, but I guess for others, it is a traumatic thing.
So I am getting prepared. I feel strong, but at the same time am terrified. I know I will be reluctant to walk into that chemo room. Had a little tour last week and every chair was full - the waiting room is always busy - cancer is rampant. As I waited for my appointment on Thursday, I sat beside a couple, about my age I think - the husband was keep patting her knee, and they both looked scared. I mentioned that it was a beautiful day out and that I know we would rather be somewhere else - she seemed relieved that someone had spoken to her and it was like an ice breaker. Another gentleman came in and the nurse asked him how he was doing - he said "I'm surviving". An appropriate comment in the cancer waiting room. The lady and I looked at each other and laughed - I guess that is what we are all doing - surviving!! I was then called for my appointment, but I was wishing I had more time to spend with the lady next to me. I think she needed a friend. Perhaps I will see her again.
Well - I had better get up now and do some jobs. Laundry is waiting and I have procrastinated enough about the plant pots - yes - they are still not put away.
Thursday, 3 November 2011
Taking Drugs!
Less than 2 weeks to Chemo ....
I was at the hospital today going over all the info the doctor gave me the other week - nurse discussed all the side affects from the chemo drugs - what each one does etc. I couldn't take it all in - one thing I did pick up was ...if you had an easy pregnancy, you were more likely to have an easier time on chemo - don't know how that works, but that was interesting. I am not very knowledgeable but hormones play a role in what type of drug they give you and dependent on what type of cancer it is, i.e. if it is hormonal receptive or not.
She named the drugs one after the other just like it was no big thing - she was quite flippant about it actually and I called her on it - this is my 'one time' - I know she was doing her job - but to me I could have used a bit more empathy - it is like falling into an abyss with all this nausea, mouth sores, pain when hair falls out, fatigue, joint pain, possibility of nails falling off, fever (urgent to get to the hospital if a fever occurs), etc. etc. - all this information is very hard to process. And then, on top of all the stuff they put into you, you get other drugs to help counteract the problems - that is a whole other process. 3 Nausea drugs, 2 of which I cannot pronounce - one that works on the stomach, the other that works with the brain, the other Gravol! 2 other drugs to take morning of chemo, 1 for just that day, and the other for that day and the day after. Then the expensive one you pick on before you leave after Chemo to boost the immune system. Oh my gosh I wonder how the elderly (older than me!!) make out - all this on top of their regular medicine. Wow!
So needless to say - it is all coming down now. Surgery was a piece of cake I think compared to what is ahead. But I hope to battle on in my usual fashion with humour and being open about what I am experiencing. It might not be as bad as I have indicated above - people don't get all the side affects, they might get one or two or they might get none - it is an individual thing.
Stopped by Hearth Place again and tried on some wigs - didn't see anything I loved but it was good to get some ideas. Signed up for 'Look Good Feel Better" - need to know how to do the pencil eyebrows!! Not my style. But I think you get free stuff - makeup and stuff - so that might be fun!!
Well - just getting ready to take George for his doctor's appointment - it is all go.
Talk to you soon.
Jeaninne
I was at the hospital today going over all the info the doctor gave me the other week - nurse discussed all the side affects from the chemo drugs - what each one does etc. I couldn't take it all in - one thing I did pick up was ...if you had an easy pregnancy, you were more likely to have an easier time on chemo - don't know how that works, but that was interesting. I am not very knowledgeable but hormones play a role in what type of drug they give you and dependent on what type of cancer it is, i.e. if it is hormonal receptive or not.
She named the drugs one after the other just like it was no big thing - she was quite flippant about it actually and I called her on it - this is my 'one time' - I know she was doing her job - but to me I could have used a bit more empathy - it is like falling into an abyss with all this nausea, mouth sores, pain when hair falls out, fatigue, joint pain, possibility of nails falling off, fever (urgent to get to the hospital if a fever occurs), etc. etc. - all this information is very hard to process. And then, on top of all the stuff they put into you, you get other drugs to help counteract the problems - that is a whole other process. 3 Nausea drugs, 2 of which I cannot pronounce - one that works on the stomach, the other that works with the brain, the other Gravol! 2 other drugs to take morning of chemo, 1 for just that day, and the other for that day and the day after. Then the expensive one you pick on before you leave after Chemo to boost the immune system. Oh my gosh I wonder how the elderly (older than me!!) make out - all this on top of their regular medicine. Wow!
So needless to say - it is all coming down now. Surgery was a piece of cake I think compared to what is ahead. But I hope to battle on in my usual fashion with humour and being open about what I am experiencing. It might not be as bad as I have indicated above - people don't get all the side affects, they might get one or two or they might get none - it is an individual thing.
Stopped by Hearth Place again and tried on some wigs - didn't see anything I loved but it was good to get some ideas. Signed up for 'Look Good Feel Better" - need to know how to do the pencil eyebrows!! Not my style. But I think you get free stuff - makeup and stuff - so that might be fun!!
Well - just getting ready to take George for his doctor's appointment - it is all go.
Talk to you soon.
Jeaninne
Monday, 31 October 2011
GOOD NEWS
Well - today I had some good news, finally. No cancer in the lymphnodes they removed in the 2nd surgery. They removed 16 nodes from under my arm and they were clear!! I am so relieved. So 16 nodes last surgery - 3 centinal nodes and 3 other nodes in tissue they took when removing the breast. So 22 nodes removed altogether. (Looks like I am short a few nodes!!)
The bone scan was clear and the chest CT scan was clear. I am thankful for that. No results yet from the stomach CT scan - they have a different doctor review that. However the bone scan showed lots of arthritis, toes, feet, ankles, knees, hips, neck, shoulders, elbows, and hands.... my future looks painful!!! Bring on the pain pills!! :)
It was such a good feeling getting that news - even the doctor was grinning from ear to ear. I hugged her and thanked her. As I was leaving I ran into my breast specialist (Dr. Lickley) and gave her the news and she told me she already knew - Dr. Cil was keeping her updated and "it's about time you got some good news" she said!! So we left the hospital with smiles on our faces. Maureen went with me and Nicole met us there. By the way - Nicole was dressed in her Halloween costume (a baby, in her pink pajamas, with her bunny and pacifier!!). It was funny - some people thought she had escaped the hospital bed and was flitting around the hospital.
So a good day.
Backtracking a bit - the day started with a massage at Hearth Place - Maureen and I showed up at 10:00 am - Maureen was allowed to sit in the Library area and do her knitting or read, while she waited for me. The ladies brought her a cup of tea (Earl Gray of course) - it is all very comfortable. I met with Phyliss and we hit it off. It was a very gentle massage - I was very comfortable and enjoyed it sooooo much - I can't wait for the next one. (AND IT'S FREE!!) We talked about gently massaging the arm and redirecting the flow of the lymphatic system to other nodes that can kick in and do the work of the ones that were removed.
It is all a whole new world for me - it seems like a new experience every day now and I am learning and meeting new people and looking at the positive.
Happy Halloween everyone. Trying to write this in between kids coming to the door.
J
The bone scan was clear and the chest CT scan was clear. I am thankful for that. No results yet from the stomach CT scan - they have a different doctor review that. However the bone scan showed lots of arthritis, toes, feet, ankles, knees, hips, neck, shoulders, elbows, and hands.... my future looks painful!!! Bring on the pain pills!! :)
It was such a good feeling getting that news - even the doctor was grinning from ear to ear. I hugged her and thanked her. As I was leaving I ran into my breast specialist (Dr. Lickley) and gave her the news and she told me she already knew - Dr. Cil was keeping her updated and "it's about time you got some good news" she said!! So we left the hospital with smiles on our faces. Maureen went with me and Nicole met us there. By the way - Nicole was dressed in her Halloween costume (a baby, in her pink pajamas, with her bunny and pacifier!!). It was funny - some people thought she had escaped the hospital bed and was flitting around the hospital.
So a good day.
Backtracking a bit - the day started with a massage at Hearth Place - Maureen and I showed up at 10:00 am - Maureen was allowed to sit in the Library area and do her knitting or read, while she waited for me. The ladies brought her a cup of tea (Earl Gray of course) - it is all very comfortable. I met with Phyliss and we hit it off. It was a very gentle massage - I was very comfortable and enjoyed it sooooo much - I can't wait for the next one. (AND IT'S FREE!!) We talked about gently massaging the arm and redirecting the flow of the lymphatic system to other nodes that can kick in and do the work of the ones that were removed.
It is all a whole new world for me - it seems like a new experience every day now and I am learning and meeting new people and looking at the positive.
Happy Halloween everyone. Trying to write this in between kids coming to the door.
J
Friday, 28 October 2011
Appointments Appointments
Well - I have had a busy week - appointments appointments and it has been difficult to keep up - in fact I missed one appointment on Tuesday - the eye doctor - who is thinking about eyes these days!!! Not me obviously.
Met up with friends on Tuesday for a lovely lunch and get-together - it is great to have something to look forward to when I get up in the morning. Good chat - tears and laughter and lots of love.
Wednesday - the drain came out - yippee!! It is nice not to have to carry that around with me and be concerned about how much fluid is coming out of my body. Did you know those darn things are sewn in - so the stiches had to be cut first and then it is pulled out - a little blip initially as it comes out of the hole, but then nothing. Of course I was a chicken and complained - it is that anticipation - but really it isn't a big deal.
Thursday was an appointment at Womens College Hospital for a CT scan. I hate the drive down there these days - but this is a standard test after breast cancer surgery apparently - it is to check that the cancer has not spread to other organs, and to provide a marker or baseline to measure any changes in the future. For those of you that have not had this type of test before, it is nothing to be concerned about. I arrived about 9:40 and was given a cup of liquid to drink - mainly water, but something added that would work with the machine (probably radioactive stuff). It was a large soft drink cup filled and I was to drink 1/4 of it every 15 minutes over 1 hour. It wasn't bad. (Luckily I was able to use the bathroom). Once the liquid was finished I was asked to change into the hospital gowns and go to the room with the machine. I was asked to lay on the bed - they make you as comfortable as possible. I was injected a couple of times with who knows what and then you just lay still and the machine moves up and down your body - it is quite close to you, but not claustrophobic because your head is not covered. It is very quick and then you are done. One lady I met in the waiting room had an allergic reaction to whatever it was they injected - she broke out in a hive on her face - she just waited it out for a 15 minutes or so and no other welts showed up and then was allowed to leave. But they explain this to you - I had no adverse reaction to the test.
On the way home stopped by the office for a chat with HR and visited my colleagues in the department. Seems they miss me!! It was good to see everyone and I certainly miss them. The girls are planning on visiting in November and so I look forward to seeing them all then.
Today, I had a busy day. First was an appointment for a Muga Scan at Oshawa General Hospital. This is a test of the heart to measure how my heart is working before the chemo etc. It is very similar to the bone scan I had the other day. I was again injected with the radioactive stuff - it is really tricky these days to find a vein - my right arm is not coming up to the mark in this regard!! The technicians usually have to go find someone with more experience to find a vein that will do the trick. You should see the bruising on my arm today! This is a very similar test to the bone scan - they make you comfortable on the bed - cushion under the knees and an extra pillow (at my request). I figured I could have 1/2 hour extra nap. So first pictures lasted about 15 minutes or so whereby the machine goes around the body - not touching. For the second set of pictures, the machine is stationery. I just relaxed and closed my eyes. And that was it!
I decided on the way home to drop by the cancer support centre - Hearth Place in Oshawa. This is a centre that addresses the social, practical, emotional, educational and spiritual needs of people dealing with all types of cancer. I had heard about it from breast cancer survivors and from the hospital. So I stopped by and introduced myself - I was given a tour by a volunteer and spent some time with one of the managers there. It was very enlightening - they have so much going on - lots of support groups for cancer patients and their families - wellness programs - fitness programs - I was very impressed. So I came out of there having signed up for Reiki treatment, Massage and Therapeutic Touch sessions. I think I will join one of the support groups and take a yoga class. I also want to get involved with the 'look good feel better' program - this discusses how looking good can make you feel better about yourself - teaches you to use makeup, wear wigs and turbans etc. Sounds like my cup of tea. They also have wigs and prosthetics. All of this is free to the patient. It is an amazing place - very comfortable - rooms for group discussions and one on one discussions. I felt very comfortable there. So I will let you know how I make out.
I got home just in time for the nurse coming today - and another friend dropped by bringing food and other goodies. I can't believe the generosity of everyone. George is enjoying all this company as well.
At least he is getting well fed.
So I have all these appointments made - hard for me to keep up with. I have made myself an Excel spreadsheet and hopefully I can keep track now - everything is not written on bits of paper all over the place etc. (You have heard about the cobbler whose children have holes in their shoes - well it is like the executive assistant who is organized at work and not so much at home!!! lol)
Next week it another busy week - will be in touch.
J
Monday, 24 October 2011
Taking care of business
Hello - it has been a couple of days since I did some writing - so thought I had better let you all know I am still around - not too much to write about at the moment.
Healing very well from the surgery. Very pleased about that. Still some pain in my arm and the drain IS STILL IN!!! Got me all excited on Friday cos is was down to 30 cc of fluid - well the nurse would not remove it because it has to be Below 30 cc. Then on Saturday it went up to 47 - so probably just as well it didn't come out - still not down to where it should be, so hoping Wednesday now. It would be nice to have a week or so of freedom without something sticking out of my body. On November 14 I have to have a PICC line put in for the chemo treatment - just no escape.
We had a good weekend - friends came over on Saturday and brought fish and chips - they were delicious - a "no work" supper and good company - nothing better.
Today I decided to take care of business. I took a look at all the pamphlets and booklets and questionnaires and documents that I was given at the hospital the other day - one has to be in the mood to read that stuff. I registered on line at the hospital, so now I can check the computer for my appointments etc. - good thing - 'cos I keep loosing stuff. Called about reimbursement of some of the cost of the immune booster drug and then Read about all the side affects that can occur with those chemo drugs. Is was scaring me, so decided to stop. I may get all of the side affects - or none!! Hopefully the latter. However, they give you drugs to counteract everything these days, so we will take it one day at a time.
This week I have a CT scan and then see my surgeon on the 31st. I will get the pathology results from the second surgery and hopefully the CT scan results as well. The bone scan tests came back clear - so that was great.
I learned how to Skype last week - and so was able to speak to and see both of my sisters individually and then we all spoke together. With 3 people, the video technology isn't there yet, but coming I believe. But it was great for the three of us to chat together - so I felt I had accomplished something - imagine, being able to speak to both of your sisters at the same time, 3000 miles away and FREE!! I remember when it used to cost 3 british pounds per minute - we used to have to talk fast and just about the important stuff!! Now we can show off anything new that we have bought - or see a new hairdo etc. Amazing. I am delighted.
Well, I am off to bed. Hopefully the baseball is finished - George is already in bed watching the playoffs.
Have a good week everyone.
Jeaninne
Thursday, 20 October 2011
Oncologist visit
Well - today it was all real. Walking into the Cancer Centre at Oshawa hospital and seeing cancer patients coming out of the facility - some with head turbans, some with balding heads and eyebrows and lashes missing, and some with hair starting to grow back in made me want to run back to the car. I do not want to be one of those people!!!
But, I took a deep breath and walked through the doors with my girlfriend Maureen - ready to face whatever is to come my way.
I checked into the Reception and was given a card - this will allow me to check in automatically whenever I am at the hospital for an appointment and anyone who needs to see me will know where I am in the hospital. It is a great system.
Next getting some bloodwork done - yeah a lady called Pat who knew what she was doing. I had had some struggles with finding a vein over the last few weeks since the surgery but she found a vein right away and it was done in a flash. She gave me a good tip for getting the the sticky marks off your skin from the tape - 'extra virgin olive oil' !! Who knew!!
Met a lovely lady named Diana, who is the coordinator, and she took my history etc. and we bonded I think. She will be a lifeline for me I am sure.
There was no waiting to see the doctor - I knew it was going to be a woman and we guessed with the name, (Katherine Shim) she would be Korean. Well we were right and she confirmed that once we spoke. She is fairly young and omg so bright. I felt comfortable right away and she spent a lot of time explaining everything. She had most of the information from Dr. Cil, the surgeon, except for the pathology report from the most recent surgery. She had the bone scan info from Monday and there were no surprises with that, thank goodness. So I guess from looking at all the information she had determined what kind of treatment I would be given. So I have all of that information, along with booklets and pages of information on side affects of the drugs, and other drug information to counteract the side affects etc. It was all a bit overwhelming and scary - but bottom line - this is what is required to kill the cancer cells that might still remain in my body. The cancer is graded as Stage 3 - which is quite advanced, given the size of the tumour - so we have to be aggressive.
She examined me and it looks like I am relatively healthy and ready to take this stuff on.
I liked her and that is important for me to have a good feeling about the doctor. I believe she is very approachable and that could mean a lot.
So we scheduled the first chemo treatment for November 15th. It will be one treatment every three weeks for 6 treatments. Then a month or so rest before starting radiation. I will have to see the Radiation Oncologist and that meeting has not been set up yet. I was given prescriptions for drugs that I will need - one the day after each chemo treatment, and others to combat some of the side affects. The drug that I will need after the treatment is an immune booster and apparently it is very expensive. I saw the pharmacist and she checked to see if my insurance covered it, which they do, 80% at least, and introduced me to a program called the Victory Patient Support program that will cover the additional 20%. Something I am grateful for because Maureen asked the cost of 1 shot of this drug and the price is $2,600.00 per shot!!! Do you believe that!! Oh and I was also given a prescription for a wig! So looks like I will be loosing my hair after all.
The Cancer Centre in Oshawa is quite new and everyone I met today were great. The chemo waiting room is small and more intimate than the general waiting room. It felt small and intimate and not like a hug inner city hospital. So I think I made the right choice by suggesting I go to Oshawa for my treatment.
So - I have lots of reading to catch up with - not sure I want to read it all though. We will see.
That is as much as I can say today. Hope I haven't bored you all - telling it like it is.
Good night
Jeaninne
But, I took a deep breath and walked through the doors with my girlfriend Maureen - ready to face whatever is to come my way.
I checked into the Reception and was given a card - this will allow me to check in automatically whenever I am at the hospital for an appointment and anyone who needs to see me will know where I am in the hospital. It is a great system.
Next getting some bloodwork done - yeah a lady called Pat who knew what she was doing. I had had some struggles with finding a vein over the last few weeks since the surgery but she found a vein right away and it was done in a flash. She gave me a good tip for getting the the sticky marks off your skin from the tape - 'extra virgin olive oil' !! Who knew!!
Met a lovely lady named Diana, who is the coordinator, and she took my history etc. and we bonded I think. She will be a lifeline for me I am sure.
There was no waiting to see the doctor - I knew it was going to be a woman and we guessed with the name, (Katherine Shim) she would be Korean. Well we were right and she confirmed that once we spoke. She is fairly young and omg so bright. I felt comfortable right away and she spent a lot of time explaining everything. She had most of the information from Dr. Cil, the surgeon, except for the pathology report from the most recent surgery. She had the bone scan info from Monday and there were no surprises with that, thank goodness. So I guess from looking at all the information she had determined what kind of treatment I would be given. So I have all of that information, along with booklets and pages of information on side affects of the drugs, and other drug information to counteract the side affects etc. It was all a bit overwhelming and scary - but bottom line - this is what is required to kill the cancer cells that might still remain in my body. The cancer is graded as Stage 3 - which is quite advanced, given the size of the tumour - so we have to be aggressive.
She examined me and it looks like I am relatively healthy and ready to take this stuff on.
I liked her and that is important for me to have a good feeling about the doctor. I believe she is very approachable and that could mean a lot.
So we scheduled the first chemo treatment for November 15th. It will be one treatment every three weeks for 6 treatments. Then a month or so rest before starting radiation. I will have to see the Radiation Oncologist and that meeting has not been set up yet. I was given prescriptions for drugs that I will need - one the day after each chemo treatment, and others to combat some of the side affects. The drug that I will need after the treatment is an immune booster and apparently it is very expensive. I saw the pharmacist and she checked to see if my insurance covered it, which they do, 80% at least, and introduced me to a program called the Victory Patient Support program that will cover the additional 20%. Something I am grateful for because Maureen asked the cost of 1 shot of this drug and the price is $2,600.00 per shot!!! Do you believe that!! Oh and I was also given a prescription for a wig! So looks like I will be loosing my hair after all.
The Cancer Centre in Oshawa is quite new and everyone I met today were great. The chemo waiting room is small and more intimate than the general waiting room. It felt small and intimate and not like a hug inner city hospital. So I think I made the right choice by suggesting I go to Oshawa for my treatment.
So - I have lots of reading to catch up with - not sure I want to read it all though. We will see.
That is as much as I can say today. Hope I haven't bored you all - telling it like it is.
Good night
Jeaninne
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
Feeling good
Thought the sun was going to be out all day today, but not to be.
I hate the thought of pulling all the plants out of the pots when they are still blooming - but we all know that white stuff will be with us before we know it.
I don't have much to write about today, except to say I am feeling pretty good and energetic - so doing some work around the house - light housework!! Keeping up with the laundry and not re-washing my clothes like I did last week.
A friend sent me this today and I thought it was too beautiful not to share.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXDMoiEkyuQ&feature=share
I found this video also today - it made me smile all the way through - it gave me goodbumps really just to see the happiness of everyone - and it reminded me that everyone is the same - no matter where they live - we all love to dance....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri9PpFVyVhE&feature=related
Hope you can access - and enjoy!!
J
I hate the thought of pulling all the plants out of the pots when they are still blooming - but we all know that white stuff will be with us before we know it.
I don't have much to write about today, except to say I am feeling pretty good and energetic - so doing some work around the house - light housework!! Keeping up with the laundry and not re-washing my clothes like I did last week.
A friend sent me this today and I thought it was too beautiful not to share.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXDMoiEkyuQ&feature=share
I found this video also today - it made me smile all the way through - it gave me goodbumps really just to see the happiness of everyone - and it reminded me that everyone is the same - no matter where they live - we all love to dance....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri9PpFVyVhE&feature=related
Hope you can access - and enjoy!!
J
Monday, 17 October 2011
Body Scan today
Appointment day at Women's College Hospital.
Body Scan today. I had to be there for 9:00. Met with the technologist (who was very nice by the way) and he got me comfortable on the bed (less of the dirty minds!!)..... I lay on the machine while he found a vein in which to insert the 'die' they use prior to doing the test. My veins are tricky in my right arm - always used my left hand in the past and am not allowed to use that arm anymore. He managed to find a vein in my wrist and so all went as planned. He watched a screen while the die was running through my body - weird! It was cold from being in the fridge and I could feel it a bit.
I was told to come back at 11:15 to do the actual test. He told me to drink lots of fluids (about 1 litre if I could) - 1 large coffee and three cups of water were all I could manage. So back I went at 11:15 and they were ready for me. Lay again on the bed - this time he put a pillow under my knees to make me more comfortable - tied my feet together loosely with a sheet and I was quite comfortable. The one test took about 20 minutes with the machine/camera moving down my body very slowly. Then I had to put my hands above my head while the machine took pictures of my chest area - first the right and then the left. About 5 minutes each side. For the next one I lay on my right side while the camera took pictures of my knees - ankles etc. So literally it is a full body scan. Pictures of the arms and shoulders where done standing up - took about 5 minutes each. That was it - I was asked to wait outside while the radiologist checked the pictures - unfortunately I was asked to come back so that they could do more pictures of the pelvic area (without my pants!!) I was wearing jeans and they wanted to make sure - so that concerned me a bit - who knows what they saw. I have to wait until October 31st when I see the surgeon for the results. Oh well - whatever it is, bring it on. I am on this journey now - may as well get everything over with at once. So keep your fingers crossed.
It is a busy life having an illness with all this appointments etc.
By the time I got home I was quite tired - didn't sleep that well last night worrying about getting up in time etc. It took me 1.1/2 hours to get there this morning. How do those people commute every day downtown - I couldn't do it.
I just want to say how wonderful my neighbours have been - today, the doorbell rang - another one of my neighbours who has just found out about my diagnosis delivered some beautiful red roses - I am so lucky - my neighbours are great and I know I can count on them if there is anything I need.
Well folks that's it for today - hope you all had a great day.
Love Jeaninne
Body Scan today. I had to be there for 9:00. Met with the technologist (who was very nice by the way) and he got me comfortable on the bed (less of the dirty minds!!)..... I lay on the machine while he found a vein in which to insert the 'die' they use prior to doing the test. My veins are tricky in my right arm - always used my left hand in the past and am not allowed to use that arm anymore. He managed to find a vein in my wrist and so all went as planned. He watched a screen while the die was running through my body - weird! It was cold from being in the fridge and I could feel it a bit.
I was told to come back at 11:15 to do the actual test. He told me to drink lots of fluids (about 1 litre if I could) - 1 large coffee and three cups of water were all I could manage. So back I went at 11:15 and they were ready for me. Lay again on the bed - this time he put a pillow under my knees to make me more comfortable - tied my feet together loosely with a sheet and I was quite comfortable. The one test took about 20 minutes with the machine/camera moving down my body very slowly. Then I had to put my hands above my head while the machine took pictures of my chest area - first the right and then the left. About 5 minutes each side. For the next one I lay on my right side while the camera took pictures of my knees - ankles etc. So literally it is a full body scan. Pictures of the arms and shoulders where done standing up - took about 5 minutes each. That was it - I was asked to wait outside while the radiologist checked the pictures - unfortunately I was asked to come back so that they could do more pictures of the pelvic area (without my pants!!) I was wearing jeans and they wanted to make sure - so that concerned me a bit - who knows what they saw. I have to wait until October 31st when I see the surgeon for the results. Oh well - whatever it is, bring it on. I am on this journey now - may as well get everything over with at once. So keep your fingers crossed.
It is a busy life having an illness with all this appointments etc.
By the time I got home I was quite tired - didn't sleep that well last night worrying about getting up in time etc. It took me 1.1/2 hours to get there this morning. How do those people commute every day downtown - I couldn't do it.
I just want to say how wonderful my neighbours have been - today, the doorbell rang - another one of my neighbours who has just found out about my diagnosis delivered some beautiful red roses - I am so lucky - my neighbours are great and I know I can count on them if there is anything I need.
Well folks that's it for today - hope you all had a great day.
Love Jeaninne
Sunday, 16 October 2011
Sunday the day of rest and surprises
Yes - Sunday was definitely the day of rest for me. I got up late and have washed the same load of laundry 3 times - I started it on Friday and it never got it into the drier - I am doing that next!! But that is about all I have done today.
I have had some visitors - the nurse earlier today and my next door neighbour. The house always looks at its worst when someone drops by - oh well - they should know me by now and I have learned that having a tidy house is not a defining factor of who you are!! :)
It was a very nice visit with my neighbour Barb - got caught up to date with all of her grandchildren and she also brought me a gift from her sister, it is a quilt, made by volunteers, for people with cancer. I am thrilled to have it, but it brings home the message that I am one of those people with cancer!!
I wanted to give you a bit more information about the organization that makes these quilts.
"Victoria's Quilts was established in memory of Victoria Ann Morrison who was a cancer patient and a quilt lover. She made over 100 "Love Quilts" in her short lifetime. She spoke of being cold during her chemotherapy treatments. With her in mind and after much thought and prayer Victoria's Quilts Canada was founded in 1998 with Gods love. This ministry from the Lord is accepted with a humble heart."
Along with the quilt came a card signed by all the makers and instructions for washing etc. Quite the thing don't you think?
So I am passing along the information to those of you who might be interested in some way .....
My Quilt came from the ladies at the Lindsay Branch
Victoria's Quilts Canada - Lindsay
24 Dormer Road
Lindsay, ON K9V 6H8
Phone: 705 328 2084
Email: yqclindsay@hotmail.com
The ladies volunteer to make the quilts and they buy the fabric/supplies etc. from donations
- Canadian Charitable Registration No. 88036 4815 RR0001
When I get the hang of pictures - I will show you my beautiful quilt.
J
I have had some visitors - the nurse earlier today and my next door neighbour. The house always looks at its worst when someone drops by - oh well - they should know me by now and I have learned that having a tidy house is not a defining factor of who you are!! :)
It was a very nice visit with my neighbour Barb - got caught up to date with all of her grandchildren and she also brought me a gift from her sister, it is a quilt, made by volunteers, for people with cancer. I am thrilled to have it, but it brings home the message that I am one of those people with cancer!!
I wanted to give you a bit more information about the organization that makes these quilts.
"Victoria's Quilts was established in memory of Victoria Ann Morrison who was a cancer patient and a quilt lover. She made over 100 "Love Quilts" in her short lifetime. She spoke of being cold during her chemotherapy treatments. With her in mind and after much thought and prayer Victoria's Quilts Canada was founded in 1998 with Gods love. This ministry from the Lord is accepted with a humble heart."
Along with the quilt came a card signed by all the makers and instructions for washing etc. Quite the thing don't you think?
So I am passing along the information to those of you who might be interested in some way .....
My Quilt came from the ladies at the Lindsay Branch
Victoria's Quilts Canada - Lindsay
24 Dormer Road
Lindsay, ON K9V 6H8
Phone: 705 328 2084
Email: yqclindsay@hotmail.com
The ladies volunteer to make the quilts and they buy the fabric/supplies etc. from donations
- Canadian Charitable Registration No. 88036 4815 RR0001
When I get the hang of pictures - I will show you my beautiful quilt.
J
Saturday, 15 October 2011
Saturday
It's been a good day today. Spent the day with a friend and did a bit of shopping. I actually bought two Christmas presents (it's October folks)!!! So - I have started. I figured time is not going to wait for me so better pick things up when I can. So at the moment, if I do nothing more, my family will have 1 gift to open on Christmas Day..... perhaps that is all they will get!! :)
Wasn`t it a miserable day - definitely Fall - rainy and windy and leaves blowing all over the place. We enjoyed our shopping trip and, you know, I didn`t think about cancer all day. Other than keep putting my left boob back in its place, it was a lovely normal day.
Think George missed me - he is used to having me around the house these days - even though we might not talk for the most part - he knows where I am and can see how I am doing.
Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend - today, I am enjoying the weekend!
J
Wasn`t it a miserable day - definitely Fall - rainy and windy and leaves blowing all over the place. We enjoyed our shopping trip and, you know, I didn`t think about cancer all day. Other than keep putting my left boob back in its place, it was a lovely normal day.
Think George missed me - he is used to having me around the house these days - even though we might not talk for the most part - he knows where I am and can see how I am doing.
Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend - today, I am enjoying the weekend!
J
Rainy day Friday
It's Friday. It's a gloomy day - but thinking about work and hoping all goes well with the barbeque and that the rain keeps away.
Nurse just been - someone different today - they are always surprised when there are the two of us having a 'visit'. Although this time it was just for me. George has to have the wound nurse come today for him because he has another area of concern. I am not going there 'cos it upsets me.
I think I did too much yesterday when I went out shopping - I am feeling a little swollen - the swelling is not in the right place though!! lol But things are healing well apparently.
Yesterday I ended up at Winners as I expected I would - the car just seems to gravitate there. I bought three tops - this time I will be keeping them I think. Just nice comfortable youthful looking stuff - one for work and the other two a little more casual. Need to get some bottoms to match now! If I was a bit more high tech I could post pictures etc. - oh well - perhaps down the road.
Got thinking about my situation yesterday and got really scared - a lot of 'what ifs' and the mind can take you places you don't want to go. I remain positive, but the scary bits do slip in. I sometimes feel it is all happening to someone else - like this is not really me - and the real me will show up sometime. It is life changing and there are a couple of routes to take - you can either climb the mountain and struggle to the top - or slide down to the bottom and wait there for whatever to happen. It is a fine line between both routes.
Wow - way too philosophical!!
Anyway - my blog - all about me - so I guess you know my mind is all over the place. You have to take the good with the bad with me.
Update Friday
Drove to the office - Enjoyed the barbecue - unfortunately the rain did not keep away - but a big tent and lots of super people didn't put a damper on the occasion.
I felt proud to be part of a company that celebrates it successes and acknowledges the work done by everyone. Food wasn't bad either!!
It was good to see everyone and be back 'in the land of the living' - I appreciate so much everyone's good wishes. Thanks all of you.
Nurse just been - someone different today - they are always surprised when there are the two of us having a 'visit'. Although this time it was just for me. George has to have the wound nurse come today for him because he has another area of concern. I am not going there 'cos it upsets me.
I think I did too much yesterday when I went out shopping - I am feeling a little swollen - the swelling is not in the right place though!! lol But things are healing well apparently.
Yesterday I ended up at Winners as I expected I would - the car just seems to gravitate there. I bought three tops - this time I will be keeping them I think. Just nice comfortable youthful looking stuff - one for work and the other two a little more casual. Need to get some bottoms to match now! If I was a bit more high tech I could post pictures etc. - oh well - perhaps down the road.
Got thinking about my situation yesterday and got really scared - a lot of 'what ifs' and the mind can take you places you don't want to go. I remain positive, but the scary bits do slip in. I sometimes feel it is all happening to someone else - like this is not really me - and the real me will show up sometime. It is life changing and there are a couple of routes to take - you can either climb the mountain and struggle to the top - or slide down to the bottom and wait there for whatever to happen. It is a fine line between both routes.
Wow - way too philosophical!!
Anyway - my blog - all about me - so I guess you know my mind is all over the place. You have to take the good with the bad with me.
Update Friday
Drove to the office - Enjoyed the barbecue - unfortunately the rain did not keep away - but a big tent and lots of super people didn't put a damper on the occasion.
I felt proud to be part of a company that celebrates it successes and acknowledges the work done by everyone. Food wasn't bad either!!
It was good to see everyone and be back 'in the land of the living' - I appreciate so much everyone's good wishes. Thanks all of you.
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
Day after the day after thanksgiving
A bit deflated today. I guess I am going to have my off days.
I feel the need to get out and about a bit and so I am debating on whether or not I should drive. My arm has some numbness/tingling on the underside - I had been told that might happen - so I am not concerned about it - but it is a reminder. The soreness is less - so I seem to be healing well.
It is hitting me that this is a long process - and I need to remind myself of that and be patient. Easier said than done sometimes though.
Enough of the 'woe is me' - giving myelf a kick in the butt!
It has started to rain and so perhaps I will rethink my trip out in the car - I should get some knitting done. My friend has commissioned an Aran Knitted coat for her dog - it is a dachshound - so I will have to fashion a pattern and add some length to it - those little dogs are lllooooonnnnnggg!! So I have lots to do - baby blanket to finish, hats to do and now a doggy coat - so - just need the motivation now!!
So folks - not much to tell you today so I will sign off now. I will only write when I feel like I have something to share.
Thanks for listening.
J
I feel the need to get out and about a bit and so I am debating on whether or not I should drive. My arm has some numbness/tingling on the underside - I had been told that might happen - so I am not concerned about it - but it is a reminder. The soreness is less - so I seem to be healing well.
It is hitting me that this is a long process - and I need to remind myself of that and be patient. Easier said than done sometimes though.
Enough of the 'woe is me' - giving myelf a kick in the butt!
It has started to rain and so perhaps I will rethink my trip out in the car - I should get some knitting done. My friend has commissioned an Aran Knitted coat for her dog - it is a dachshound - so I will have to fashion a pattern and add some length to it - those little dogs are lllooooonnnnnggg!! So I have lots to do - baby blanket to finish, hats to do and now a doggy coat - so - just need the motivation now!!
So folks - not much to tell you today so I will sign off now. I will only write when I feel like I have something to share.
Thanks for listening.
J
Monday, 10 October 2011
Happy Thanksgiving
Well hello everyone. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I have been away from the computer for a couple of days - it has been busy at the house and therefore not the right environment to sit quietly and write.
I have been counting my blessings for all my wonderful friends and family at this special time of year - I have so much to be thankful for. And even the weather cooperated this weekend - it was beautiful - I was able to sit outside this morning with my coffee and contemplate my good fortune while listening to the birds chirp and soaking in the sunshine (and before my neighbour decided to close the pool (lol)).
We had our thanksgiving dinner yesterday - Nicole was determined to have a turkey dinner and she 'produced'!! Turkey with all the trimmings and the best pumpkin pie in the world made from scratch - even the pastry!! Thank you Nicole. We had a lovely family dinner - sat around the dining table, eating in candlelight (the power went out just as we sat down!!). So it was special having my family around me. The odd thought comes to mind when enjoying those special moments .... will this be the last Thanksgiving!! It comes and it can't be helped - I have breast cancer and it is lurking there all the time. Then in the next moment it is gone and I tell myself I am being silly and that everything is going to be fine.
I am recovering from the 2nd surgery as expected - a little tender under the arm and of course the drainage tube is back - it is a pain in the pip. I can't lift my arm to do my hair properly and I am tending to 'favour' my arm close to my body - so I have to remind myself to be more flexible and move it a little more. I have some swelling under the arm, but that is to be expected. No abnormal swelling of the arm and fingers at this point.
Dr. Cil advised me before they started that the pathology report had come through on some tissue that contained some lymphnodes she had removed during the first surgery, that had not been tested initially, saying they were clear of cancer cells. I was pleased to hear that news before going under the knife and am just now hoping and praying that the ones she removed on Friday are also clear.
Well - need to go to bed now. I will say goodnight and will talk to you tomorrow.
J
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