The first snow

Wednesday afternoon.  Well we have just had a little snow storm and it sure looked pretty - but pleased it didn't last long.   The sun is shining now.

I have to tell you I have been into the wine - two bottles in the last two days - ahhh  someone knows my weakness!!!    Yes two bottles - Tuesday and Wednesday's gifts from the Sunshine Basket.  No, I haven't been drinking it - just opening the gifts.  Lovely - thank you gift givers.  No cards on either bottle.  They are tucked away in the wine rack until I am able to enjoy them properly.  Monday's gift was a lovely candle - black and mysterious - smells great.  Thank you.

Well - today is the first day the hair has started to 'release' - yes a few long strands in the hairbrush this morning.  I quickly put it up - didn't wash it 'cos I didn't want to lose any more.  My head has been itching and is a little sensitive in some places.  So it all falls in with the plan - pretty much spot on with what I was told at the hospital.

The nurse has just been to change the PICC line again - it get's flushed out and checked to make sure things can run smoothly.

I am trying to get prepared for Christmas - ordered a few things on line this week and got my Christmas letter done and printed off.  Just have to do my cards now.  They are waiting for me on the dining room table!  Trying to get on top of things ready for the onslaught of next week's chemo treatment.

Will sign off for now.
Love J

Lazy Day Sunday

Not much to report today, but wanted to let you know about my gifts this weekend:
Scrabble chocolates - never seen those before - I will play the game by myself so I don't have to share! :)

Also several boxes of various Swiss chocolates, cookies - great help over the Christmas period to share with visitors - I doubt I will be baking!
So thank you friends - always fun to have something to open and enjoy.

It is 8 pm and I am not even dressed - typical rainy day Sunday - it was nice.

Feeling quite good though - I did a bit of shopping yesterday and was happy to get out of the house - but one trip around Canadian Tire and I was done.   One forget's that the body is constantly fighting and so the energy level is not there.

Anyway - I am enjoying feeling better - mouth sores gone and I have a smile on my face.

Have a good week everyone.

J

I feel good!

Friday and feeling great.  I caught myself singing in the kitchen this morning - quite the change from the previous few days.  Did some laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, helped George with some paperwork, wrote my Christmas letter and generally enjoyed my day.  IT FELT GOOD!!  I even cooked a real meal for supper!

Nurse came today to change the PICC line - so all good for 1 week.  I do however, have some pain in the inside of my right arm by the elbow joint - I can feel a swelling and it feels like it is bruised.  So I had better call the nurse tomorrow and ask about it - I read that your joints can be affected, but this is just 1 area and doesn't really feel like joint pain.  Will keep you posted.

Just spoke with my sister Bev on Skype for about 1 hour - it is awesome.  So while talking with her she asked about my gift for today and of course I had forgotten about it and so went into the living room and chose another basket - so today I opened up a book by Deanna Favre .."Don't bet against me"!!  I don't know who it is from as there was no card, so just want to say thank you so much.  Should be interesting reading.  I also opened yesterday's gift of a pair of sunflower hand made slippers, which will keep my toes nice and warm while undergoing my chemo.  Thank you gift giver.   It is amazing that I can share with my Sister, 3 thousand miles away, the opening of a gift!  How cool!

Well the weekend is here again - time is just flying by.  Enjoy everyone - I will catch up with you on Monday.

Jeaninne

Just before going to bed I decided to open one more gift ...... English Candy - so of course I couldn't go to bed before eating the Dolly Mixtures - yummy.  Some of my favourites in this package.  I don't think I was supposed to open this until the gang from work come over - but hey - its not about them!!! lol

The mug sort of says everything about how I have felt about the world today "Bollocks"....... love it.   I have been bitchy, miserable, in pain and generally not very nice.  I don't think I got my sleep out - was woken up before my time this morning.  My poor husband doesn't quite know what to do with me.  Hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Thank you so much gift giver - I appreciate the thoughtfulness so much.

Well I think I explained how I was today in the 2nd paragraph - so no need to expand.

J

Days 7 & 8

Not a good day Monday - didn't want to talk to anyone - sort of feeling sorry for myself.  Mouth sores are bothering me and can't eat anything that I have to chew much.  So soup and pudding it is.

Feeling better today - stomach still not right, but no vomiting.  Energy still low, but just doing what my body is telling me.

I had an eye doctor appointment in the area, so stopped off at the office afterwards.  It is always good to see everyone and I always feel better for their energy and boost of goodwill.

Sunshine basket gifts for yesterday and today are .....
A scrumptious box of hazelnut milk chocolates and
A Scarf .... just my colours - it will match the baseball cap - this was part of one of Sunday's gifts - from the same person - but had been wrapped separately,.
So my head and neck will be warm when the bald hits me and my tummy will be full.

Thank you so much everyone.
J

Days 4,5,6

Sunday evening - just trying to get a few words down before going off to bed.

I have felt better - very tired, in fact on Saturday I got up at noon - stayed up for about 1 hour and promptly went onto the couch and slept the day away.  I guess that is a good thing, stops me from being grouchy with George.  So I have to admit I felt a little off - headache, stomach upset - not throwing up - but just off - body aches - flu like symptons.  Actually I am feeling better now at 10:30 at night than I have all weekend.  So hoping I am on the upward track until the next chemo hit.  Will keep you posted.

It was Brandon's birthday today, so he and Tamara came over this afternoon and Nicole showed up as well to pick up Steve.  It was nice to see them all.  Brandon enjoyed his gifts and we had a few laughs.  Nicole told us all about her New York trip, which she loved.  She managed to see two Broadway shows and covered quite a few miles - she enjoyed it so much.

I hadn't opened a Sunshine Basket gift in a couple of days (just hadn't got the energy believe it or not), but I got to share the opening of 3 today with the family - Tamara is crazy about presents - so it is more fun opening and sharing with them.  So today the first gift was a beautiful scarf with a lovely design - peacocks I think - it is just so beautiful - I am hoping I can figure out how to do the headscarf thing once I lose my hair.  The only problem with this gift is that there was no name/no card - so I am not able to send a personal email of thanks.  So if anyone knows who sent this gift, I would love to know.

Gift #2 is some lovely body wash - smells great - George better keep his fingers off it!!! lol

Gift #3 is a ball cap (pink of course) - they tell me I suit it - of course why wouldn't I (lol) - a book called "God Never Blinks" - 50 lessons for Life's Little Detours - I love it - that is what is going on right now - it's a Detour!!

So big thanks to all for your kind words and prayers.  I really appreciated it.

So, hopefully next week I will be back to normal (as normal as it can be at the moment).

J

Day 3

Took it easy today - although, I  did attempt filling out some Government forms, and you all know what that can be like - it was a marathon.  The focus is not there at the moment.

I have also been trying to do some knitting and don't seem to get very far - under normal circumstances I would have whipped half a dozen hats up by now - still only half way through the first one.

Sent Maureen home today - she has been wonderful.  She has done laundry, washed floors, made meals and been a wonderful support.

Sunshine gift today is ....... dah dah .... some lovely Belgium chocolates and a gift card for Debbie's in Ajax for a tea or coffee treat.  Yum.  Thank you so much gift giver - I have just finished my dinner and a chocolate will go down nicely about now.  It is almost embarrassing going into the living room and saying to myself, 'which one shall I pick today'!  They all look so beautiful it is hard to choose.  I am feeling very spoiled.

Love to all
Jeaninne

Day 2

Just checking in to let you know I am doing fine - day 2 down and feeling OK - waiting for something to happen, but nothing has so far.  They say the drugs are flushed out of your system within 48 to 72  hours or so - so I am banking on that.  Maureen has been staying with me and Brandon is also coming home for a few days - commuting in the morning to Toronto - so I am feeling well loved.  I think George is quite enjoying the two wife thing!!  :)

Was a bit wound up and emotional earlier today - needed some quiet time, although this afternoon felt good enough to go and pick up my wig - yes - I finally made a decision and chose the one the girls at Baxters ordered for me - so I am ready now for the hair to fall out.  They say that once it starts you know immediately it is time to cut it off - so the girls at the wig place are ready with their clippers for when that day comes for me.  I'll be ready to rock the bald!  (Maybe)!!  I am not sure anyone can be ready.

Sunshine basket gift for today is the cutest black and crystal chandelier - a miniature one beautfilly wrapped in a sparkly black little pouch - just my style.  (Too bad there was only one though -  they could be great earrings) lol - just kidding it is soooo cute, and yes, it did make me smile.  Thank you so much - I am enjoying immensely this marvelous gesture.

Tomorrow I am going to rest.  Feel like I could sleep for a week.

J

DAY 1

Tuesday evening - sitting watching tv and thought I better get this done before falling asleep.  My eyes feel tired.

I had my treatment today - very scary walking into that room - the volunteer lady was terrific though and she is my new best friend.  They sat me down in a very comfortable chair, with a pillow and got started by plugging me into a saline drip to get some fluid into me.  I had been drinking water all day so needless to say the bathroom breaks are a little more regular!  After the saline drip - the nurse then pumps the meds in manually - they go in quicker that way.  Two huge syringes filled with pink meds first, then I had to eat ice chips before having the next one.  Apparently the white meds can cause mouth sores - so they wanted me to chill down your mouth and then the chemo is not so effective in those areas.  So like a good girl I ate my ice chips and then they pumped in the white meds.  I thought I might feel something right away but I didnt.  Very slightly perhaps in the nasal area - she told me sometimes people feel it in their sinuses and get a bit sniffly with the 2nd drug.  But it was very very minor for me so far.  Had to take a bathroom break and I was already peeing pink - just my colour!!!  Weird eh!!  The next step was a saline drip again for about half an hour and then home.  So in all it takes approx 2.1/2 hours.  Both Maureen and Brandon came with me and took turns sitting with me - Maureen and I did our knitting and Brandon entertained the nurses!!  I had to pick up another drug on the way out that will be injected by the home care nurse tomorrow.  This is the very expensive drug I told you about in previous blogs.  $2600.00 - never had a drug receipt showing that much money before!  I was worried about getting mugged on the way home!!! lol  I have this drug after every chemo treatment, it is supposed to boost the white blood count, which in turn helps the immune system.  Oh the expense - but I am lucky that my drug plan covers 80% and the Drug Company program tops it up.  So - no charge to me.  Lucky eh.

So no adverse affects so far - taking it one day at a time.  In the life of a Breast Cancer patient - 1 day down and 125 more days on chemo to go.  But today I am smiling.

Prior to going for my chemo treatment I went to the Look Good Feel Better program offered at Hearth Place.  It was a fun couple of hours - lots of makeup products provided by various sponsors - Clarins, Avon, Loreal, Shoppers, Aveno - lots of stuff to bring home with me - and a great presentation with a volunteer model to show us how to apply the makeup - particularly if the eyebrows and eyelashes are gone.  The Wig ladies were there from Baxters and they did a great presentation also.  The model lady looked beautiful by the time the makeup was on (not that she didn't look beautiful before that) - but the colours suited her and they tried several wigs on her and one of them was fab. so I was hoping her daughter, who was with her, would encourage her to get the wig.  They also tried on the caps and scarfs, turbans etc.  This particular lady looked great in them all.   So we went from there to the hospital and checked in.  Took our lunch with us (being frugal) and braced ourselves for the next step.

So got home around 4 pm, glad that they first one was over and now knowing what to expect.  I am staying up to watch Dancing with the Stars to see who gets voted off, then off to bed.  I am surprised that I didn't want to crawl into bed as soon as I got home.  I still had an appetite and enjoyed a great lasagna dinner kindly donated to us, which made life very simple for us today.

My gift for today is a 'whole pile of wonderful stuff' - a book to enjoy in my quiet time, Danielle Steel's latest "Legacy" - hope there is some good sexy bits (I'll mark the pages) lol; a beautifully smelling candle which I will place on my the table beside me; an angel to look over me which I will put on my night table; some Quality Street chocolates, which I am eating now, and some lovely body lotion that takes me away to the tropics.  But best of all was the sentiments - the writer wrote:

"No asperations of being a poet (good thing too because I can't have someone else doing my job) but let me try to set the stage .....

Picture our Jeaninne, sitting all warm and comfy in her jammies on the couch, with her feet up - beside her on the table, the soft flicker and glow from a candle.  Having just finished massaging her hands with refreshing lotion she is ready to dive into a good book, while enjoying some bonbons....All this with a special angel to carefully watch over her ......."  

Thank you, thank you.  By the way the bonbons are gone as I write!!! lol

Steve is with me for a few days 'cos Nicole is in New York - so he is behaving himself.  He is getting spoiled because Maureen keeps giving him cheese - he loves his cheese.  But he is not sleeping in the front hall when the girls are home - only when George is home alone - not sure he likes George much - perhaps it is his walking cane that intimidates him!  :)   He is flat out now.

Well - I will say goodnight.  Thanks for your prayers and thoughts.  I appreciate everyone.

Love J

Day before the big 'C'

Hello everyone - it has been another busy day - had to be at the hospital for 9:00 am.  It was so busy - I have never seen so many people in the waiting room so everyone was running behind.  It turns out it was because they were closed on Friday (Remembrance day).   Got the bloodwork done first and then saw a nurse who checked my weight and asked a lot of questions about the state of my health etc.  They need to know before starting the Chemo on what is happening to me before the Chemo kicks in.  I then saw the Medical Oncologist (MED ONC), Dr. Shim - she just went over my pathology reports from the surgeries again and confirmed what we knew already.  It was short and sweet.  I then had to make my way to the x-ray department to have the PICC line put into my arm.  This is done to avoid having IV's done every time they give you the Chemo treatment.  It can also be used for CT Scans and for getting blood.  The PICC line can stay in for up to 1 year.  It was a surgical procedure with freezing and scrubs and with me laying on the bed with the x-ray machine above me to make sure they got the line into the right place.  The line goes all the way into the chest up to the heart.  It is taped down onto your arm and has like a valve there.  So it was a bit scary for me.  They freeze the arm area and then insert a needle - it did hurt a little but not for very long.  It was over in 15 minutes or so.  The arm feels a little achy and I know it is there, but I think that is just a matter of getting used to it.  The only thing is I have to avoid getting it wet - just in case of infection.  That is going to be fun - think I will punch a hole in the shower curtain and stick my arm through!  :)

I have to drink lots of water and pee as much as I like.  This is to help flush some of the chemicals out of my body.  So I have been trying to do that - not a big fan on regular water and coffee/tea does  not count.

We left the hospital (Maureen and I) about 11:45 and had a run out to Newcastle to look at some houses for sale - so we enjoyed our afternoon - didn't get back until after 5 or so.

So I didn't get to my gift today until supper time.  Today I opened a lovely pink bag and pink tissue and found a great book - the new Maeve Binchy novel - so plenty to keep me occupied while I am recovering.  Thank you gift giver - I really appreciate it and  I do enjoy this author.

Well I am tired and need to go to bed - hope I will sleep.  Maureen is here to take care of me for a couple of days or so and Brandon will be at the hospital tomorrow as well.  It feels good to have people around me looking out for me.

Thanks for all of your prayers.  I am sure things will be fine and I will try and keep my spirits up.

Good night.  I will check in tomorrow.


Jeaninne

Wigs R Us

It's Sunday night and just checking in before going off to bed.

Had the whole family here today, including Maureen - so we were able to go out to Baxters and check on the wigs again.  It get's more complicated the more people you have there.  I believe I have narrowed it down though.  There is one on order coming in next week and we believe it could be 'the one'.  It is between two I like - and so we shall see what it looks like.  Fun though - one becomes a different person!

I got to open another gift today and it was a beautiful hand painted wine glass (I don't know how they guessed that I enjoy a glass of wine)! lol    It says, Live, Love and Laugh on the glass - and that is my motto!!  Of course I had to christen it this evening - the wine tasted better than ever!!  Thank you gift giver - I appreciate it soooo much.  It was great to share the gift opening with the family.

Well - I am off to bed - tomorrow is a big day at the hospital in prep for Tuesday, which is when I have my first chemo.

Love to all

J

DAY 2 OF GIFT OPENING

Well I  couldn't wait to open one of my gifts this  morning, but I waited for Nicole to come - we had had a call around 8:30 to say she was coming out as a friend (Jamie) had called  her even earlier to say she was coming down from Peterborough.  So I waited until Jamie was here and then opened one of the bags.  It was a blue bag - beautiful card with a couple of gifts inside - a beautiful scarf and credit  card holder and two movies - Poseiden and My Best Friend's Wedding, which is one of my favourite movies.  So I was just thrilled.  I love scarfs and wore it out and about today while shopping.

This is really something amazing and I am sure it is going to be like Christmas morning every day!  Deciding which one to open first and taking my time opening while having my coffee.
I couldn't be more touched at the generosity of everyone at Messier-Dowty and cant thank you enough.  Thank you thank you.

Bought myself a hat today - guess the bald head will get a little chilly during the winter - it has a bit of sparkle on it, so it suits my personality.  I am not a hat person, but will have to get used to them I suppose.

Well - short and sweet today.  Had a busy day out shopping with the girls and a very pleasant evening watching a movie.  We watched Bridesmaids,.  It was so funny - loved it.

Well - until tomorrow - that's it.  Good night.
Jeaninne.

The Art of Receiving!!

What a day I have had.

First, this morning I had a 'Therapeutic Touch' appointment - something new for me - and one of the wonderful programs offered at Hearth Place.  A very lovely lady, Dorothy, was the practitioner and, after we chatted for a while, got to work - I laid on the bed and she turned down the lights and put the spa like music on - she explained that she acts as a human energy support system by using her hands just above the body and then touching certain points - the feet - the arms and shoulders etc. and that it is the client's immunological system that takes over.  So she suggested I was "sitting on the dock with the sun on my face and the water glistening" (you get the picture).  I have to admit it took me a while to relax - I was thinking about my friends coming over this afternoon and I wasn't really ready - but to be truthful I did let it go and, although I wasn't sitting on the dock (more of a beach girl myself) I could feel myself relax.  It was lovely - she had told me before we started that people sometimes cry out, or cry so not to be surprised should anything like that happen.  Well, once she started touching my shoulders and arms the tears came - I had no intention of becoming emotional, it just happened.  I was right into it.  I don't know of the benefits - but it is good to take yourself away for a while.  I enjoyed it and was surprised by the emotions I had.  


Today the girls from the office came to visit:  Kunpriye, Bibi, Stephanie, Elvira and Pauline. It had been arranged for a while and I was looking forward to seeing everyone.  They brought lunch and we had a great time sitting around the table enjoying our food and telling our stories.  I just love that they want to come and visit and give up their Friday afternoons for me.  Bibi brings the wine and today she got her husband to come over also (the driver) and so she could enjoy a glass or two!!.  After lunch most of the group disappeared for a while.  They wouldn't allow me to see where they had gone and so I had to sit and wait.  Well when I was allowed to come out into the hallway I couldn't believe my eyes - there were so many gift baskets and gifts within gift baskets and individual gifts - it was incredible - I am shedding tears as I am reliving that moment.  They came with a poem and I will show it below.  How amazing are the people I work with?  I just feel so blessed and loved and undeserved really.  The generosity of everyone is overwhelming - I was totally blown away and just don't know how to thank people.  


Here is the poem:


To our friend Jeaninne


We have filled this lovely basket 
With gifts for our friend Jeaninne
Our goal was to fill this lovely basket
With many many things


This basket is called Sunshine
A smile it does bring
When some days may seem dull and grey
We hope it makes you sing


The Sunshine Basket is unique
For no two are the same
Only one gift a day can be unwrapped
No peeking or shaking:  you'll spoil the game


This gift is our way of saying
Hand in there nd stay strong
And know that if you need us
Just pick up the phone and call


Your friends at Messier-Dowty


So the deal is that I have one gift to open each day - to give me a lift when I am down, or just to give me glee and something to look forward to each day. What an amazing idea.  Thank You all so much.   I was allowed to open one gift today - it was a beautiful plant, lovely orange colour.  Thank you Linda.


It was lovely that the husbands came over (Steph's husband Dennis came also) - we had a great time chatting and enjoying a glass of wine and I enjoyed so much having people over to the house.  You know I have learned a few things - the house doesn't have to be perfect before inviting people over - I have had more people in my house in the last few months than I have in years and I love it.  George is enjoying meeting everyone also - the girls are used to him now - he loves seeing them and enjoys the 'chatter'.


Needless to say - I am a lucky girl - good friends, family and working on good health!!!


Thank you, all of you.


Love Jeaninne

RADIATION ONCOLOGIST VISIT

I have had a busy week - getting prepared for the big week next week.

Had lunch with a friend on Tuesday, which I enjoyed very much.  I did some errands and picked up a few bits and pieces for Christmas  - trying to think of Christmas Shopping a little bit, but my brain doesn't go there for very long.  Not my first priority at the moment.

On Wednesday I met with Dr. Dixon, the Radiation Oncologist (RAD ONC) - a very nice man.  I am much more comfortable walking into the cancer centre now - it will become a very regular part of my life.  People are so nice and sometimes serve coffee to the people waiting - all very civilized.  Dr. Dixon examined my chest and asked about my general health.  Checked my lungs and felt my neck (not sure why).  I had been told that there would be 5 weeks of radiation treatments, daily, 5 days a week, for 5 weeks (25 sessions).  Well he surprised me by telling me he wanted to do 6 weeks of treatment (30 sessions).  My tumour was large  as tumours go, 6.6 centimeters and very close to the chest wall.  So they want to make sure they get rid of anything that might be lingering.  Of course it just brought everything to the forefront again and I felt vulnerable and scared.  I had sort of put out of my mind the fact that the cancer was a stage 3 out of 4 and close to the chest. He explained the process and advised the side affects (those darn side affects) the scary bits for me are that because it is the left side, the lung and heart are close and could be affected (very rarely), but I guess they have to tell you.  I will not start this treatment until after the chemotherapy is finished.  I have an appointment in March to go for a planning session - they do measurements and markings on the area that is to have the radiation.  I think they do a dry run in a simulator machine, just so you know what to expect, it is a well organized process.  So when I left there, my heart was heavy and I was feeling pretty low.  I came home and went to bed.

Today I visited Baxters Wigs - two women running their business from the home.  I tried on many wigs - I liked many of them - so will get a 2nd opinion when Maureen comes down.  Just learned today that my insurance plan does not cover wigs - so that threw me a bit - they are quite expensive and I was thinking I could get a couple.  Well I guess that is not going to happen now.  I am very surprised wigs are not covered on my insurance - they cover the bras and the prosthesis, so I would have thought a wig was like a prosthesis!  Oh well - it is what it is.

A good friend (Shirley G) came over this evening and we had dinner together - it was lovely.  She brought me a present,  "Betty Crocker - Living with Cancer Cookbook" - so I am going to check it out and see if I can get creative in the kitchen.  I have been spoiled in recent years when George always did the cooking - but he can't stand for long these days and so it is my turn.  I am sure most of the recipes are 'healthy'!!

Signing off for now.  J

MOvember - support your moustache growing friends as they raise funds for Prostate Cancer.

Hello - Sunday morning and another beautiful day - awesome for November.  Speaking of November - or should I say MOvember - Brandon is growing his Moustache in an effort to raise funds for prostate cancer.  So check it out - www.movember.com

Just chatted with my sister Bev on Skype - however the line wasn't very good today - so ended up calling her on the phone in the end.  Technology is not perfect!!

Had a nice day with my daughter yesterday.  We went to my favourite optician and picked out some new glasses.  I have yet to have my eyes tested for the latest prescription, but wanted to get things in the works in case I did not feel like trekking downtown in the next little while.  So she did all the measuring and got things ready to go once she receives the prescription.  It was a beautiful day - we had Italian food at Diplomatico and people were sitting out on the patio enjoying the sunshine and having a beer.  Perfect!

Friday I had a Reflexology treatment - just one of the services offered through Hearth Place.  I didn't quite know what to expect - thought I might be able to do some ballet once I was done, but it didn't quite work that way!!!  lol   It was an enjoyable experience though and I enjoyed chatting with Bruce - a very interesting man, who has done a lot of very good things for people during his life.  I look forward to the next time.  I think George is ok with me seeing another man every now and again!!  :)

I also decided to stop into a place called Blossom to look at wigs.  I called ahead and so they were expecting me.  Met with Yvonne who sat with me and talked about my situation and what I was looking for.  They provide the whole package if you need it, i.e. wig consultation, hair cutting, head  care products, manicure, pedicures.  It is a nice experience.  I tried on several wigs - some I loved and some I hated.  So I narrowed it down somewhat and now just want a second opinion.  They cut/shave  your head once the hair starts to 'release'!!  I liked that word - and I guess some people are sensitive about the hair falling out - so this is a gentle way of saying it.  You have a private consultation - they have little booths and they pull the curtains together so you don't have to be seen if you don't want to be.  For me, it is no big deal, but I guess for others, it is a traumatic thing.

So I am getting prepared.  I feel strong, but at the same time am terrified.  I know I will be reluctant to walk into that chemo room.  Had a little tour last week and every chair was full - the waiting room is always busy - cancer is rampant.  As I waited for my appointment on Thursday, I sat beside a couple, about my age I think - the husband was keep patting her knee, and they both looked scared.  I mentioned that it was a beautiful day out and that I know we would rather be somewhere else - she seemed relieved that someone had spoken to her and it was like an ice breaker.  Another gentleman came in and the nurse asked him how he was doing - he said "I'm surviving".  An appropriate comment in the cancer waiting room.  The lady and I looked at each other and laughed - I guess that is what we are all doing - surviving!!  I was then called for my appointment, but I was wishing I had more time to spend with the lady next to me.  I think she needed a friend.  Perhaps I will see her again.

Well - I had better get up now and do some jobs.  Laundry is waiting and I have procrastinated enough about the plant pots - yes - they are still not put away.

Taking Drugs!

Less than 2 weeks to Chemo ....

I was at the hospital today going over all the info the doctor gave me the other week - nurse discussed all the side affects from the chemo drugs - what each one does etc.  I couldn't take it all in - one thing I did pick up was ...if you had an easy pregnancy, you were more likely to have an easier time on chemo - don't know how that works, but that was interesting.   I am not very knowledgeable but hormones play a role in what type of drug they give you and dependent on what type of cancer it is, i.e. if it is hormonal receptive or not.

She named the drugs one after the other just like it was no big thing - she was quite flippant about it actually and I called her on it - this is my 'one time' - I know she was doing her job - but to me I could have used a bit more empathy - it is like falling into an abyss with all this nausea, mouth sores, pain when hair falls out, fatigue, joint pain, possibility of nails falling off, fever (urgent to get to the hospital if a fever occurs), etc. etc. - all this information is very hard to process.  And then, on top of all the stuff they put into you, you get other drugs to help counteract the problems - that is a whole other process.  3 Nausea drugs, 2 of which I cannot pronounce - one that works on the stomach, the other that works with the brain, the other Gravol!  2 other drugs to take morning of chemo, 1 for just that day, and the other for that day and the day after.  Then the expensive one you pick on before you leave after Chemo to boost the immune system. Oh my gosh  I wonder how the elderly (older than me!!) make out - all this on top of their regular medicine.  Wow!

So needless to say - it is all coming down now.  Surgery was a piece of cake I think compared to what is ahead.  But I hope to battle on in my usual fashion with humour and being open about what I am experiencing.  It might not be as bad as I have indicated above - people don't get all the side affects, they might get one or two or they might get none - it is an individual thing.

Stopped by Hearth Place again and tried on some wigs - didn't see anything I loved but it was good to get some ideas.  Signed up for 'Look Good Feel Better" - need to know how to do the pencil eyebrows!!  Not my style.  But I think you get free stuff - makeup and stuff - so that might be fun!!

Well - just getting ready to take George for his doctor's appointment - it is all go.

Talk to you soon.

Jeaninne