LAST ONE DONE!!!

Yippee - last chemo session done!!!   I wore my red wig and my lippy and went in there giving cancer the finger in my own way!!!  There is a bell on the desk to be rang as people have their last treatment - and I rang that bell with all my might - gave a couple of hoots and said I'm out of here.   Lots of smiles from patients and nurses.  Everyone is so great in there, the nurses and volunteers and maintenance staff.  I met some wonderful people - bonded and shared stuff with other cancer patients and my friend Maureen had been with me every step of the way.  So I can't say it was a bad experience - obviously I would rather have not been there but it is nothing to be afraid of - nothing hurts and the nurses are very caring and will do everything they can to make you comfortable - with the help of the great volunteers as well - warm blankets, juice or a drink of your preference (no gin and tonics of course) - you can eat your lunch - a great facility in Oshawa.

The pic line is out and I can't wait to have a long shower without trying to keep it dry by sticking my arm behind the curtain and scrubbing with one arm - one of the big things I missed.

Had the ice on my hands and feet again to try and protect the nails - apparently it blocks the chemo from hitting the ends of fingers and toes - however, I do see some lifting of my finger nails - but not too bad.  Nurses tell me some people lose their nails altogether - another weird and wonderful side effect.  So I am hoping I can hang on to my nails.  Still hanging on to my eyebrows and eyelashes which has surprised me.  Hopefully this last session want affect them.  The hair should start growing back now - hopefully - can't wait to have the funky short spikey hair - will be fun to play.  I have never had a short haircut in my life.

I am feeling strong at the moment - the steroids being responsible for that - they give them to you the day before chemo and two days afterwards - doubled the dose with this last three treatments 'cos it hits your body harder, so I guess by Thursday or Friday I will start to crash and I am certainly not looking forward to a month of feeling rotten again - but at least I know it is done.

Dr had a nutritionist stop by to see me today during my treatment because I have lost 20 lbs - I know 'silver lining eh' - however, they don't really like to see you losing weight because they need you to keep your strength and if you are not eating, then you are losing muscle mass etc. and depleting other things from your body, at the same time as the chemo is attacking everything as well.  So they like you to eat lots of red meat, iron type veg etc.  But when everything tastes like drywall it is hard to get excited about food.  She told me to eat just the things I really like (who would want to eat things they didn't like - lol) - but for the most part nothing does it - everything tastes the same - weird.

Next milestone is the radiation and I am sure it will not be anything near as hard on the body.  However, it is 6 weeks, 5 days a week, so I am sure it will be a strain travelling back and forth every day - but I will get through it.

Can't believe how the months are going by - I long for my normal life - but I have to tell myself that my health comes first and not to push myself too much, otherwise it will just take longer to get back to normal in the long run.  So I plan on sleeping for the next 3 weeks and then I know I will slowly start to get my strength back.

Love all the support I have had from everyone - and want you to keep it up because it certainly lifts my spirits and let's me know I haven't been forgotten.

So I will keep posting as long as I feel I have something to say.

Love to all.

Jeaninne

Oscar night

Hi everyone - finally checking in.  I am sorry I have not been around for a week or so - feeling pretty crappy so not much to write about.  One day runs into another and no matter what I plan for myself, it never seems to work out because I just don't have the energy.  So a bit of cabin fever going on.

Watching the Oscars tonight with Maureen - she has come down to go to the docs with me tomorrow - day before the last Chemo.  LAST ONE FOLKS coming up!!!  It is a time to celebrate, but not looking forward to the month of recovery.  It has been a rough spell over the past few weeks - very very tired - no stamina!

Had a friend of my daughters visit from Montreal this weekend with her little 4 year old daughter and I have to say it helped to have some distraction.  But they did everything - I didn't have to cook and change bedding etc. so was easy to just visit.

Well - trying to stay awake to see who wins best Actress - loving the dresses - Penelope Cruz my favourite so far, although Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz looked pretty stunning also.

I will keep you posted on how things go tomorrow and Tuesday.

Miss everyone.  Love J

Thursday update

It's Thursday and I wish I could say I was feeling better - but not the case. Started to feel not so well on Friday of last week, but took the medicine I had been prescribed and it definitely helped.  My mouth has not been so bad this time as far as the infection goes, still no taste buds - everything tastes like cardboard - so no interest in food.  But I consider myself ahead because I didn't end up in the ER this time.

Still feeling very weak and headachy.  The oxycoten works for the aches and pains and I just have to bide my time till the immune system starts building itself up again.  I do get impatient though and then the emotions kick in.  George never knows what my mood is going to be like - I told him to expect the worst and then anything reasonable is a bonus !!

Looking forward to the kids coming on the weekend and hearing all about their trip to the UK and see their pictures - will take me away from myself for a while.

Apparently Zoe, their dog, starts obedience training tomorrow - so that will be interesting.  She is such a live wire.  Not sure she is much of a 'listener'!!

I am determined that tomorrow is going to be a better day.

J

The waiting game

Just checking in.  Well so far feeling not too badly after my treatment on Tuesday.  Rinsing my mouth with the 'magic mouthwash' to avoid any infection - took the last of the steroids today, so once they wear off that is when the other stuff usually kicks in - so we will see what the weekend brings.  Hoping it wont be so bad this time.  And every day that passes is one day closer to this being over.  I am confused with the days - thought it was Wednesday today - so once I discovered it was Thursday - it pleased me to think I am one day ahead of where I thought I was!!  

Caught up on laundry today and made a pea and ham soup - so a little productive, but I am bored.  I should have been out and about today enjoying the beautiful weather, but decided not to get dressed today - just one of those days.

I hate this waiting game - I have put the surgery behind me - almost over the chemo - and then the radiation treatment kicks in - 6 weeks, 5 days a week.  That is going to be a bit of a challenge for me going to the hospital every day - but I am hoping it won't be too uncomfortable and that I can get some strength back.

I have developed lymphedema in my left arm and hand - some days it is better than others, but most definately the swelling is there - I hate it.  I will have to get my rings re-sized (or perhaps a new one!!! lol)

Cancer vixen checking out for today.

J

5th Chemo down

Well folks - 5th down and just one more to go!!  Yeah!!

Dr. reduced the dosage this time because of the problems last time, so we will see what happens.  I am armed with medicine ahead of time this time, so hopefully we can beat the 'bad boys' at the pass!!
Hard to believe where the time has gone - I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now and know I can get through this.  Radiation next, but trying not to worry about that.  Someone told me about 'udder cream' to help heal the burning from the radiation - so I am looking to get some of that - stuff they use on cows udders!!  Interesting eh!!  I wouldn't care if I had an udder - but it has been removed!!   lol

Maureen here and looking after me - making me drink water - it is coming out of my ears - but hoping to flush out the poison.  I am switching to tonic water and lemon - makes me think I am having a gin and tonic - it is more refreshing than water.  We aren't taking any chances.

Funny who you meet in the chemo waiting room - met a work colleague two treatments ago and yesterday after my dr appointment and while waiting for my drugs to be processed, met an old neighbour - one of the first people who befriended me when we moved to Ajax 38 years ago.  It was good to see them and her memory is definitely better than mine.  We talked about old times and caught up on the children - Sandra was the patient and was there with her husband Dave.  It was her first treatment and of course was a little anxious.  So I was able to calm her nerves a bit and let her know that the care is very good in the chemo room.  It is not the ideal place to meet people, but it just goes to show you that cancer isn't picky who it chooses!

Well - gotta go - thanks for your support and prayers.

J

The last of the Sunshine Basket gifts

Hi everyone

I have been saving some of the Sunshine Basket gifts until 'just the right moment' for me.  Well this morning was a good time - I thought I would spend some quiet time with my sister and open the last basket of gifts.

Well the tears have been rolling and just reminded me again of the goodness of people and how lucky I am to have such good friends.

I hope it isn't considered 'cheating' by opening all the gifts on the same day - but I figured I have waited so you wouldn't mind.

This is what I opened today:

Bubble bath - can't wait to take a long luxurious bath

Bracelet – love it - thank you so much gift giver - you know my taste

Prayer books and words of encouragement - always appreciated

Brownies and Tony Bennet music – sounds like a good afternoon with a cup of tea!  Awesome

Pedicure Nailtique - my local spot - and I really need to go - thank you

Chapters gift card and booklet – I can go and browse and have a coffee while there - sounds great!

Earrings – pink and pretty - thank you

Calendar – don't think I have a 2012 calendar - will be very helpful!  

Gift certificate for spa/pedicure - a new place to try - love it

Bon Apetite card - oooooww - yummy

Winners - $25 - someone knows me and my weaknesses - don't know who to thank for this one.

And lovely cards and notes.

Am I spoiled or what!   This has been the greatest thing - I experienced many emotions while opening the gifts - gratitude, gratefulness, love - it truly humbles me.

It is an emotional day all around today - my sister is leaving to go back to England today - her visit has flown by and I can't believe we are headed out to the airport again - seems no time since she arrived.  We have enjoyed just hanging out and doing a little shopping.  Bev doesn't get out to shop very much in the UK as she has a pub to run and it is 24/7 pretty much, so it was nice for us to browse the stores and for her to stock up on some new tops etc.

So I am going to miss her and hopefully the time in between visits won't be so long next time.

Nicole arrived on Friday night with the two dogs - hers (Steve) and Brandon's dog (Zoe) - Steve is no bother - he is quiet and just plods along - while Zoe is a maniac - she is only 7 months, full of energy and loves to jump and shower you with kisses and chase her tail and get's in to everything.  Good thing we have a back yard and she can run around there and use up some energy.  (Can't wait for them to leave)!!! Dog hair everywhere as you can imagine.  Nic is looking after Zoe while Brandon and Tamara are in the UK on holiday - poor Nic - she has her hands full - Zoe escaped once already (she chewed through her harness) and they hadn't got on the plane yet!!  She'll get a routine going though and get through it.  It is funny really.   I told Brandon I was on the look out for a 'lookalike' dog, just in case this one get's away!!

Well - closing for today - back to the hospital tomorrow for bloodwork etc. and to talk to the doc - we will see what my blood level is whether or not it has improved enough to have the chemo on Tuesday.  I need to type up a list of all the things that happened to me this last time - it will be a long list - I think I had most of the side affects listed.  

Sincere thanks to everyone for all your kindness and support.

Love Jeaninne

Just got up - don't know how I could have slept so long - but I guess I needed it.

It has been great having my sister here - we have had some good laughs and some good heart to heart chats.  We haven't been very far - just pottering around locally - a little retail therapy here and there - more for her than for me.  Apparently she is travelling home 'club class' and with that comes a little bit more luggage weight allowance so she will be fine!  I think we will be looking at shoes today.

It is certainly taking me longer to bounce back this time - I hit the wall in the afternoon, and usually have to force myself to keep going - but normally get a second wind and am good to go.  Bev has enjoyed visiting friends and catching up on everyone's lives.  She hasn't been to see me in about 6 years and so lots to catch up on.

Trying not to think about next week when I have another treatment - but I will be better prepared this time, if one can be!!  The cancer vixen will be facing it head on with the shield and sword in hand!!